Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Jan 14, 2018

Who’s Isaac?

A lady named Karen was known by her middle name, Jeanelle, and had the surname Isaacs She married a man named Isaac Harvey. Here’s a ‘Who’s on first’ attempt at clarifying the names at their reception, as MC:


S: Now you’re in the bridal party, Phil?

P: Yes

S: So you should be able to help help me with some names, I’m a little confused.

P: Sure what do you want to know?

S Well I need to be sure I have the bridal party correct, what is the Groom's name?

P: Isaac

S: And surname?

P: Harvey

S: Ok, and the bride's name?

P: Jeanelle

S: Good, and maiden name?

P: Isaacs

S: No, Jeanelle’s maiden name.

P: Isaacs

S: No JEN-ELLEs. What is Jeanelle’s Maiden name?

P: Her maiden name is Isaacs

S: ... But... Isaac didn’t have a maiden name.... did he??

P: No

S: So what was Jeanell's surname before it was Harvey ??

P: Isaacs, her maiden name is Isaacs.

S: Oh, her maiden surname is Isaac's?

P: YES!

S: Right, so that makes it Harvey, if her maiden surname is Isaac's surname - well that's handy! No need to change credit card names or anything.

P: NO, her surname wasn’t Harvey.

S: Well you just said her surname was Isaac’s, well what was the surname?

P: I told you, Isaacs.

S: No I don't’ want to know Isaac's! I want to know Jeanelle's....  don’t you know the brides maiden name, is that the problem?

P: Sure I do!

S: Is it an rude name you don’t want to say in front of the children here' so you’re stalling?

P: No

S: Is it a hard to pronounce Sri Lankan name?

P: No.

S: Ok, let me slow down, today, Isaac Harvey married a woman called Jeanelle. And before she walked down that isle, the name she had, written on her credit card, was what?

P: Karen Isaacs

S: Karen? Whooooo’s Karen!!!?

P: Jeanelle.

S: No Karen. You just said Karen had her name on Jeanelle’s Credit Cards

P: It is.

S: What, has Jeanelle stolen someone’s credit cards or something.

P: I wouldn’t think so

S: Is she a spy, and has a secret identity?

P: Not that I know of.

S: Oh... are you saying Jeanelle's surname was Karen?

P: No, it's Isaacs!

S: Isaac's surname was Karen... really?

P: No Jeanelle’s name was Isaacs

S: I’m confused. LOOK, today Isaac married a woman. What was the bride’s maiden name?

P: Isaacs!

S: Yes, Isaac’s bride. How many brides do you think are in the room right now.

P: I’ve told you the groom’s bride’s maiden name.

S: Isaac's

P: YES, you got it!

S: What? You haven't told many anything yet, except his name, Isaac.

P: And Isaacs

S: There’s two Isaacs?

P: No, there was one Isaacs

S: You can’t have one Isaacs, that doesn’t make sense

P: Yeah there was one - Jeanelle’s Isaacs,

S: Yes, so Jeanelle’s Isaac's the groom, yes?

P: No Jeanelle was Isaacs but now she’s not.

S: Jeanelle is no longer Isaac's?

P: No

S: Well who’s is she then if she isn’t Isaac’s? I sure I saw them sign the papers and she vowed to be Isaac's forever more!

P: No Jeanelle is still with Isaac, she’s just no longer Isaacs.

S: ......Ok.... so in summary, you’re telling me Jeanelle was Isaacs, but is no longer Isaacs, but is still Isaac’s, but will soon have a credit card which says Karen Harvey?

P: Right.

S: ....Thank you Phil, that will be all. I don't know what you’re drinking on that table over there you're making no sense to me at all!!


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