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May 23, 2022

Presidential Pitch [Morning Worship about future Joy]

 Peresentation: South Pacific Division Morning Worship - May 23, 2022

[Greatest showman Music starts – Enter from back of room, Dark-glasses, suit wearing entourage of 2 or 3 follow. Photographer leads in front taking photos along the way. Takes some photos from the front seat for the first minute. Stand up front, entourage either side behind speaker. wit for end of intro music "...this the the moment you've been waiting for".]

Good morning, everyone

As most of you will be aware, there is a General Conference Session coming up soon.

At this session, there’s a possibility that our President may perhaps be elevated to the GC president role.
In this case, we’ll need to find a new leader for the SPD.

This morning, I’d like to put forward my name as a potential replacement for our President should he vacate his position in the coming weeks.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking “I should have worn a tie this morning for my new boss - because first impressions are everything.” 

May 21, 2022

Baptism Battle Cry [a spoken word piece durig a slideshow of baptisimal cndidates]

 Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - May 21, 2022

 

This dates been on the calendar, marked since before time began.

A day of celebration for three who choose the might of the light, over darkness. To serve the great I Am.

 

Today, arrived that date, angels gathered, none were late.

 

And one by one they went, into the watery grave, for but a moment, before being raised, for the save.

 

May 7, 2022

David Attenmother [Mother's day skit]

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - May 7, 2022

Narrator speaks like David Attenborough

Mar 13, 2022

Baby Excuses [where do babies come from?]

Written for a gender reveal party.


NOAH:
Hey Hope,
You know how we’re going to have a new baby brother or sister soon?
Do you know where baby’s actually come from?

HOPE:
Haven’t they taught you that in school yet? Well…..
maybe it’s best to ask an adult.
Go an ask someone here.

NOAH: [to each person below]

Excuse me, Can you tell me where babies come from?

[Audience members, given a card with each response]

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but my phone’s ringing. “Hi Mum…”

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I have to wash my hair tonight.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but my dog ate my homework on this topic.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m wearing the wrong shoes to walk you though that answer.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I got caught in traffic on the way here and don’t have time.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m a vegetarian.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but allergic to watermelons.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m too old to answer that.
I’m not sure where they come from these days.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I don’t have Netflix so I really don’t know.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I don’t speak English, So sorry.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m currently in labor with my 9th child – I have NO idea where babies come from!

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m… um…. colour blind.
Go and ask your mum.

MUM:
Ask your dad

DAD:
Well, I guess I had to tell you sometime, Noah.
It might as well be now.
When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, they go and …….. buy the parts needed for a baby at Bunnings.

NOAH:
Oh, I always thought it was something to with how male and female reproductive organs worked together. Thanks Dad.  



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