Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Oct 1, 2012

The Slime List

 No Darwinian, Scott Wegener contemplates
what it would be like to, to put it bluntly, "evolve."


There are some moments in my life I wish I could evolve.
Like when you’re carrying a heavy cardboard box and you come to a door that is closed. A literal third arm would come in very  . . . handy (too early for a pun? Sorry).

While there’s many reasons I don’t believe evolution played a role in how I became the specimen I am today, if I DID believe I was a part of a Slow-Level Improve-Myself Evolution  program (or SLIME for short), I would definitely have my own list of things to develop.
It would be a little like a ‘bucket list’, which is a list of things you want to do before you ‘kick the bucket’. A SLIME list is a register of bodily changes my family line is currently working on evolving.
It would be necessary to have such a list so our family line knows whether their evolving sessions should concentrate on developing a reversing eye in the back of the head or a volume dial to adjust hearing levels.

As for my family line’s SLIME list, it includes the following:

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