Over the millennia, many methods of proclaiming the all powerful love of God have been attempted. This has resulted in refining our techniques for “bringing in the sheaves” down to one foolproof, time-saving, money-guarding, life-giving, lawnmowing, tooth-picking, potato-mashing method of evangelism.
- Street preaching—but very few streets have been known to give their pavers to Christ.
- Prison singing ministries—but getting everyone into prison before they can be sung to heaven was the problem.
- Revelation seminars—which have simply provided the hunting movement with more recruits who are frightened of the beasts, particularly the ones with many heads.
- Ark building—a favourite with the animals but no-one else.
- Telly evangelism—but with the current qualitylessness state of television, it ain’t working.
- Doorknocking—while successful for a time, is now patented by police forces, who’ve come up with even more effective methods of getting doors opened—a missed opportunity for Christians.
- Vegetarian cooking classes—simply made longer-living atheists.
- And the ever-courageous living by example but don’t say a word genus, which was considered to be lacking in “sales.”
Having dismissed all other methods, the ultimate way of evangelism can be summarised in three words: letterboxing.
If you’re running a prophecy seminar, letterbox.
If you’re running a health seminar, letterbox.
If you’re running a tree hugging seminar, letterbox.
If you’re running a table tennis seminar, letterbox.
If you are running a seminar on letterboxing, letterbox.
If you see an old friend who has left the church, letterbox them.
If you yourself have started to slip away from the church, letterbox yourself.
The only occasion you would not letterbox someone is if they didn’t have a letterbox. In that case, you would do the Christian thing—go and buy them a letterbox.
Interesting Fact: The all-time record for letterboxing is held by Jesus. While He didn’t do it all Himself, He was clever enough to organise a worldwide church to “Go and letterbox all nations” on His behalf— and they have!