Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Jan 4, 2011

Camporee's (Silly) Survival Tips

2011 Australia Union Conference Pathfinder (like scouts) Camporee Newsletter
Surviving a Long Parade
1.       Bring some tent poles and ropes to help secure yourself in the standing position.
2.       If a fly is bothering you and you can't move your hands, flex the muscles behind your hairs, the ones that power your goose bumps, and swat it that way when it lands on you.
3.       Need to go to toilet, dismiss yourself, and march to behind the parade marshals as if you have an important duty to perform, and when out of site, run for a tree!
4.       If it’s a hot day, put an open water bottle in your hat beforehand, hold your head high but when you want a drink tilt it forward and let it run down your noes and catch it with tongue.
5.       If you can feel your Leg falling asleep, cough loudly to wake it up.
6.       If hungry, search around your teeth for any bits of food missed by your toothbrush. If you haven't brushed your teeth, the nice thing to do is share with those around you.
7.       If you can't tell which foot you're meant to be on when marching to or from parade, just hop continuously and you'll be right at least half the time.

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