The following silliness was written for a "Virtual Cutting Board" iPhone app Scott released in April 2012.
Whether you call them “cutting boards”, “chopping boards” or “the flat thingy you divide food up on”, a cutting board can be found in every kitchen that has one.
Chopping boards have been around since they were invented and can be bought in any shop that sells them. (You’ll find them in the isle with the items that are displayed next to them.)
Cutting boards are part of a large family, whose members include iron, surf, white, black, card, circuit, pin, chess, bulletin, diving, wake, snow and I’m.
The largest chopping board ever created was bigger than the second largest ever created.
The world record for the smallest chopping board is yet to be seen.