A Christmas Drama

Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church Carols Evening - December 14, 2013

The brief given to Scott: A short play with a Christmas theme 

[Mary is sitting holding a baby doll, Joseph walks in with some straw.]

[Dry run - reasonably dull/unexcited voices]

Joseph: Mary, here’s the last of the straw. I hope it’s enough.

Mary: It will have to do, Joseph.

Joseph: Is there anything else you need?

Mary: Some new sandals would be nice.

Joseph: Where am I going to find sandals at this time of... oh, very funny, Mary.

Wise 1: Knock knock! Is there a baby in the stable?

Joseph: Um, who invited you?

Wise 2: No-one, but we bring gifts!

[Director jumps up from front row of audience]

Director: Cut Cut! This is no good. I don’t think you understand the importance of this situation. This is the King of kings here. This deserves some grandeur! Start again, put some more grandness into the lines. I want more pomp!

[GRAND run - start again, this time much overacting and royal annunciation of each line]

Director: Cut cut! no no no, That was a little better but we need to portray how happy this occasion is! This is the King of kings here, yes, but it’s also a wonderfully joyful moment! Start again, put some more joy into the lines. I want more glee.

[Hysterical run - start again, this time every line is delivered with laughter]

Director: Cut cut! no no no no NO! This isn't’ a Joke. This is the King of kings here, in a stinky little stable. it’s a tragedy that our saviour should have to be born in a stable. Or even that Jesus should have to lower himself to join us on this sinful earth. Let alone come here to die for us! There’s nothing funny about this situation! Show a little sorrow. Let’s run again.

[Crying run - start again, this time every line delivered with crying]

Director: [Director cuts off just as the wise men burst in wailing ridiculously loudly] CUT CUT, NOOO!

THIS IS THE KING of KINGS! It’s a royal occasion that deserves much grandeur, and it's a time of much joy that our saviour has come to save us, and yet it’s with incredible sadness that He should have to come to this stinkin earth to die for the things we’ve done wrong.
It’s amazing, it's fantastic, its heartbreaking, it’s, it’s IT’s INCONCEIVABLE!! Can’t you comprehend, it’s inconceivable!!!??

All: ummm no, no not really. nup, not me.

Director: Right, well . . . let’s go and practice the musical number, maybe that will flow easier.

[everyone begins to sing scales, out of tune and loudly, as they exit]

Director: [body language slumps to show tiredness of the situation and says under his breath] Give me strength Lord [exits behind them]