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Nov 15, 2014

The Last Cast (Tribute to Bruce Manners)

Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church - November 15, 2014
A skit on the topic of Stephen - God choosing an unlikely 'hero', AND a nod to this being Pr Bruce Manners final sermon before he retires. 

The room is divided into 6 speakers:
L1 and R1 roof speakers, L2 and R2 front ground level, L3 and R3 back balcony speakers.

Screen shows DVD, with audio playing through L1 & R1 speakers. On screen says: “Guardian Angel Communication Channel [Connecting]”
Hear dial-up internet connection sounds and then cut into pre-recorded voices...
R1 Angel 2: ...and I was literally holding 3 trees at once from falling on the house allllllll night until they went out to work the next morning.

L1 Angel 1: Nice work. Well my week wasn’t quite as eventful, though I did watch my human prepare his final sermon of his pastoral career.

R1 A2: Pastor Manners, no way, this is his last sermon?

L1 A1: As an employed pastor, yep - unless God has something else in mind - but I haven’t seen any new memos come though.

R1 A2: Wow, so the big B is retiring.

L1 A1: Yeah,

R1 A2: Hey, we should get his parent’s guardians to come round for the occasion. They would love to hear this also.

L1 A1: Yeah, I’ve notified them to come down, they should be here any moment.

L3 A3: Hey hey!

R3 A4: Someone say baby Bruce is delivering his last sermon?

L1 A1: Hi! Great to see you! Thanks for coming!

L3 A3: No worries, wouldn’t miss it.

R3 A4: So where’s our lil baby Bruce.

L1 A1: Down the front, on the left. (pause)

L2 A4: Oh wow, hasn’t he gotten older!

L2 A3: Yeah, this aging business doesn't fare very well on humans, I mean wow! Where has all his hair gone?

L2 A4: I think he had more hair when he was born

L1 A1: (unimpressed) Very funny.

L2 A3: Oh should I play a song on the organ, give these saints here a little wake up before he starts.

L2 A4: Oh...(pause)

R2 A4: I can play drums

L1 A1: Guys, you know we’re on strict instructions to stay in our dimension unless given holographic approval. No playing the instruments. You’ll freak out the audience!

L2 A3: Yeah we know,
R2 A4: Yeah we know,

L2 A3: Hey, remember Bruce’s days as a lowly fisherman?

R1 A2: Really, Bruce a fishermen? no way!

R2 A4: Yeah, who would have thought God would call him to do such great work.

L2 A3: I remember the night God called Bruce to ministry. I can still see him lying there in the nets, staring at the stars when God’s transmission came through. Things would never be the same for him.

R1 A2: So he went from fisher of fish, to fisher of men?!

L2 A3: Indeed he did.

L1 A1: Remember his first two years, in Ballarat, THEY were interesting rookie years,

L2 A3: Yeah, you had to work hard THOSE years!

L1 A1: Trust me, I’ve had to work hard EVERY year with this guy.

R1 A2: Isn’t it amazing how God can use anyone for ministry.

L2 A3: Even those without hair.

L1 A1: Ok, enough with the hair jokes, he’ll get his full hair back soon enough. Now, go sit up the back and behave, he’s about to get up and speak.

R2 A4: All right...

R1 A4: ...say now....

R3 A4: ...did you grab one of those RECORD’s on the way in?

L3 A3: Yeah, it’s not like the good old days though, when Bruce was in charge of RECORD.

R3 A4: Yeah, we might be bias though. Oh you brought chips! Got mustard on them?

L3 A3: No. Salt, not mustard.

R3 A4: Perfect!

L1 A1: Guys...SHHHHH

L3 A3: (Whispers) SORRY!
R3 A4: (Whispers) SORRY!

L1 A1: (Whispers) Here he comes.


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