Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Nov 15, 2014

The Last Cast (Tribute to Bruce Manners)

Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church - November 15, 2014
Brief:
A skit on the topic of Stephen - God choosing an unlikely 'hero', AND a nod to this being Pr Bruce Manners final sermon before he retires. 





The room is divided into 6 speakers:
L1 and R1 roof speakers, L2 and R2 front ground level, L3 and R3 back balcony speakers.

Screen shows DVD, with audio playing through L1 & R1 speakers. On screen says: “Guardian Angel Communication Channel [Connecting]”
Hear dial-up internet connection sounds and then cut into pre-recorded voices...
R1 Angel 2: ...and I was literally holding 3 trees at once from falling on the house allllllll night until they went out to work the next morning.

L1 Angel 1: Nice work. Well my week wasn’t quite as eventful, though I did watch my human prepare his final sermon of his pastoral career.

R1 A2: Pastor Manners, no way, this is his last sermon?

L1 A1: As an employed pastor, yep - unless God has something else in mind - but I haven’t seen any new memos come though.

R1 A2: Wow, so the big B is retiring.

L1 A1: Yeah,

R1 A2: Hey, we should get his parent’s guardians to come round for the occasion. They would love to hear this also.

L1 A1: Yeah, I’ve notified them to come down, they should be here any moment.

L3 A3: Hey hey!

R3 A4: Someone say baby Bruce is delivering his last sermon?

L1 A1: Hi! Great to see you! Thanks for coming!

L3 A3: No worries, wouldn’t miss it.

R3 A4: So where’s our lil baby Bruce.

L1 A1: Down the front, on the left. (pause)

L2 A4: Oh wow, hasn’t he gotten older!

L2 A3: Yeah, this aging business doesn't fare very well on humans, I mean wow! Where has all his hair gone?

L2 A4: I think he had more hair when he was born

L1 A1: (unimpressed) Very funny.

L2 A3: Oh should I play a song on the organ, give these saints here a little wake up before he starts.

L2 A4: Oh...(pause)

R2 A4: I can play drums

L1 A1: Guys, you know we’re on strict instructions to stay in our dimension unless given holographic approval. No playing the instruments. You’ll freak out the audience!

L2 A3: Yeah we know,
R2 A4: Yeah we know,

L2 A3: Hey, remember Bruce’s days as a lowly fisherman?

R1 A2: Really, Bruce a fishermen? no way!

R2 A4: Yeah, who would have thought God would call him to do such great work.

L2 A3: I remember the night God called Bruce to ministry. I can still see him lying there in the nets, staring at the stars when God’s transmission came through. Things would never be the same for him.

R1 A2: So he went from fisher of fish, to fisher of men?!

L2 A3: Indeed he did.

L1 A1: Remember his first two years, in Ballarat, THEY were interesting rookie years,

L2 A3: Yeah, you had to work hard THOSE years!

L1 A1: Trust me, I’ve had to work hard EVERY year with this guy.

R1 A2: Isn’t it amazing how God can use anyone for ministry.

L2 A3: Even those without hair.

L1 A1: Ok, enough with the hair jokes, he’ll get his full hair back soon enough. Now, go sit up the back and behave, he’s about to get up and speak.

R2 A4: All right...

R1 A4: ...say now....

R3 A4: ...did you grab one of those RECORD’s on the way in?

L3 A3: Yeah, it’s not like the good old days though, when Bruce was in charge of RECORD.

R3 A4: Yeah, we might be bias though. Oh you brought chips! Got mustard on them?

L3 A3: No. Salt, not mustard.

R3 A4: Perfect!

L1 A1: Guys...SHHHHH

L3 A3: (Whispers) SORRY!
R3 A4: (Whispers) SORRY!

L1 A1: (Whispers) Here he comes.

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