Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Jun 1, 2015

Long live the King

Signs of the Times, June 2015

I love our queen. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the second - or 'Liz' as she prefers to be called. Well, to tell the truth, I’m only assuming she likes to be called ‘Liz’ as we've not actually met yet, but I'm sure that's how she'd roll. After all, she's so relaxed she has gifted us all a public holiday to celebrate her birthday each year.

Unfortunately, to date she's never been in my town on her birthday weekend, which is a shame because I’d freely invite Liz over for a barbecue and a game of table tennis.
I admit I don't really know much else about Liz, other than her face is shown at various stages of wrinkles on the spare change in my pocket. But giving everyone a holiday for her birthday, that's all I need to know and makes her a legend in my book.

I do find it strange, however, that NZ holds a different June weekend celebration of her birthday compared to most of Australia. But neither of the June dates, nor Western Australia's September party or even Queensland's 2016 plans for celebrations in October are near Liz's actual birth date in April.

If I were king, celebrations would always start on my actual birth date.

I'd also go further and gift all those living in the family of lands within my kingdom a whole week’s holiday in commemoration of my birthday, not just a long weekend. Maybe even a whole month’s holiday on years I turn a major milestone, like 50 or 175.

In addition to the extended holiday, I'd also hand out birthday cake for everyone and give out party bags, which include dress up crowns, one of those party whistles that extend like a mini elephant trunk when you blow it, vouchers for free travel and luxurious house and land packages.

I'd also open my castle for a big feast and have a huge petting zoo of every imaginable animal that has been tamed.

I hope you're getting the picture. I'd be a very generous King.

However, there’d still be limits to my generosity as King. For example there is no way I could offer my one and only daughter's life in exchange for releasing all the drug dealers, murders and serial paedophiles of the world, who offer a sincere apology, so they can get out and enjoy the holidays.

I mean, what king would seriously offer the life of their only child to save all those who have taken part in making his kingdom a miserable place by breaking the moral laws of the land?

The God of the Bible did.

He went far beyond offering a nationwide holiday for a birthday celebration. He also goes far beyond offering crowns, travel, mansions, tame animals and a big feast (though you will find all those things promised in the Bible too.)

God offered, and went through with, having his one and only son, the prince of the universe, to come down to us rebellious commoners and die so we might have the right to an inheritance which not only includes an awesome party bag (minus the whistle), but eternal life with God the Father and Jesus his Son.

Why, you may ask (and you should). Why do you get such an awesome gift for free? Because you’re family. Part of God’s Family. But remember, while you are invited, you do still have to RSVP before the celebrations start or you’ll miss out.

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