Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Nov 2, 2017

Jumpin Jerry

Brief: ‘Jump’ - some of the times when people were healed they would jump for joy.
Performance: Mountain View College junior day of worship - Nov 2/3, 2017
 
S: Hello girls and boys. My name’s Sarah the story teller, and it's so good to see you all here...

J: Hang on, hang on, stop right there!

S: Jerry, I'm about to tell these children a story. Can you wait?

J: You're telling stories alright! What do you mean you're happy to 'see' them all.

S: I AM very happy to see them.

J: No, you can't be!

S: Why not. They appear to to be well mannered... so far at least.

J: But you can't be happy to 'SEE' them... you're a puppet, you've got no eyes!

S: Yes I do! I had them sewn on the other night ... see!

J: Oh, right, my apologies, I forgot my glasses, my buttons aren't what they used to be. What's this story about anyway? Is it about the time you sneezed and a spaghetti came out your nose?? I love that story!!

S: NO Jerry. The story isn't about me. And we don't talk about the spaghetti incident in public, remember?

J: Oh... is it about the time I got a fidget spinner stuck up my nose? Boy did that make me fidget!

S: No Jerry.

J: or the time Pr Nick was preaching up the front of church and he had a big booger hanging off his mustache? And how it fell on his drink bottle and then...

S: NO! Jerry, STOP!! The story has nothing to do with noses, Alright! Nothing goes into people's noses nothing comes out of people's noses, nothing gets stuck in people's noses.

J: Oh, doesn’t sound very interesting then. Who's the story about?

S: This is a story about Jesus and when He was...

J: Oh, I love stories about Jesus.

S: Good, me too, now...

J: Yeah, Jesus is my superhero,

S: Is he?

J: Yeah, he's my star, my best friend!

S: Ok, yes very good. Shoosh please.
Now, in this story Jesus was leaving a town named Jericho...

J: Oh was he visiting Joshua?

S: Joshua?

J: Yeah, the Joshua, from the battle of Jericho?

S: No no, Joshua was in Jericho quite some time before this.
Jesus was leaving Jericho and there was a blind man named Bartimaeus who was begging for money and food. Kids, do you know why a blind person would need to beg for money and food?

J: Oh, well that's an easy one. It's because the houses back then probably didn't have any windows?

S: What????

J: Yeah, if there's no windows why would anyone need to buy blinds? A very poor business model I must say. It's no wonder a blind man would be begging for money if no one need to buy a blind. He'd be poor as!

S: No no no no. Blind- can't see kind of blind - not 'curtin' kind of blind!

J: OH!! Gotcha - well... I suppose if he couldn't see he probably didn't have a job to earn money. So had to sit at the gate and beg for money and food.

S: Exactly! So, Bartimaeus was begging as usual and he heard Jesus was coming down the street, along with a large group of people around him. Bartimaeus would have had heard stories about how Jesus had been healing people, helping the lame to walk, the blind to see...

J: and removing fidget spinners stuck in people's noses??

S: Yes, and...NO!!! Fidget spinners went invented yet.

J: They may have been! They’ve just been out of fashion for 2000 years.

S: Probably stuck in too many people's. Noses!

J: What's that?

S: I said, maybe they were invented by Moses, to keep the Israelites busy while he went up to get the 10 Commandments.  ANYWAY. Where were we?

J: [mutters] Mountain View College, according to the sign out the front.

S: Right yes, so Bartimaeus had heard Jesus was healing people and so he thought perhaps Jesus could heal him too. You can imagine how much he would want to be healed so he could see.
So he called out as loud as he could. "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

J: Oh can I do that?

S: If you must.

J: Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!

S: Very nice

J: Fankssss!!!!

S: And he shouted it over and over again and the crowd started getting annoyed at the noise he was making and were telling him to be quiet, but that just made him go louder

J: Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me
Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me
Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me
S: ok, that's enough!!
J: Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me
S: ok. Stop now please
J: Jesus, Son of David, have mercy....,
S: THAT’S ENOUGH!!!!!!

J: Was it like that?

S: YES - it was very annoying - just like that!
But Jesus did hear him calling out.

J: Of course he did, Jesus can hear anything - he's a superhero.

S: Yes, he is

J: He's my star, my best friend

S: Yes, very good, so now, Jesus stopped and asked the crowd to call him over. So they passed a message to Bartimaeus saying, “Jesus is calling for you”! And do you know what Bartimaeus did when he heard Jesus wanted to see him?

J: Did he crawl over to Jesus as fast as he could - being blind I can't imaging he went anywhere quickly

S: NO. Actually the Bible says he JUMPED up and went to Jesus.

J: Jumped up? A blind man?

S: Yes, jumped up!

J: Now that sounds dangerous! Jumping around when you can’t see.

S: He must have been very excited, thinking Jesus was calling him.

J: I know I would have been excited If I were blind and I knew Jesus wanted to see me. So did Jesus actually heal him?

S: Well, Jesus asked Bartimaeus what it was he wanted? And Bartimaeus said 'I want to see'

J: And....?

S: And Jesus said 'your faith has healed you' and Bartimaeus was able to see immediately.

J: Yeah!!! Jesus is the man! He’s a superhero.

TOGETHER: He’s my star, My best friend.

J: You know, I was a champion high jumper when I was in school!

S: Really?

J: Yep, 'Jumping Jerry' they used to call me! I'm still pretty good. Do you want me to show you?

S: Not really, no.

J: Oh come on, I bet the kids would like to see how high I can jump.

S: No they wouldn't, It’s time for us to get off the stage....

J: How do you know they don’t want to see, have you asked them?

S: No, they wouldn't..

J: Ask them!! Ask them!

S: OK!!... Kids do you REALLY want to see how high Jerry can jump?

[sighs] Alright. It appears at least one child want so see how high you can jump. Let's get it over with. Don’t break a hip.

J: Ok, let me just warm up a bit [bone cracking sound fx in mic while does stretches] oh, there we go. Ok give me a count down.

S: Alright. Kids, lets count down from 5.
5....4....3...2....

J: HANG ON HANG ON!!!! Shoelace is undone..  ok. Go again.

S: Ok. 5.....4.....3.....2...

J: Oh WAIT, WAIT!  Better take my false teeth out. [glass tinkle plop] wedy - wheely am this time.

[bobs up and down a bit]

S: Ok, here we go kids. 5....4....3...2...1....

[Jerry is carefully thrown up high, above the puppet curtain and down again]

S: Wow, that WAS impressive,  give jumping Jerry a big clap everyone!
[ Jerry pops up and takes a bow]

J: Thanks. It's all in the knees! See you kids!

-----------------------------------------------------------------Mark 10:46-52 NIV
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus, was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you .” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

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