Safe Seats [Church welcome]

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - May 18, 2019

Welcome to castle hill seventh day Adventist Church this morning.

If you’re a regular attender here, you’re probably all settled in your usual seating area by now. However...

If you’re a visitor it can be hard to know where to sit.

You know when you visit a new city and you don’t know where all the unsafe areas are.

Well, if this is your first time here you can’t possibly know where all the badly behaved people are sitting in our congregation. So I’m going to help you by holding a little survey and you can take notes.

I’m NOT going to ask who’s done what. But I am going to survey you all to see what punishments you’ve been through and that will give an indication of where the naughty people are?

Hands up who here has:
  1. Sent to room
  2. Write lines
  3. detention
  4. Suspended
  5. Expelled
  6. Cane
  7. Strap
  8. Smack
  9. Phone, tablet or game console banned for a period of time.
  10. Been put into stocks in the town center?
  11. who’s Never been punished (you will be required to wash the oven trays after church lunch today)
Wow so in conclusion, we’ve got quite a naughty collection of people here.

And despite the rumors, sitting up the balcony with the youth is where you are least likely to get pick pocketed!

Welcome to everyone here, a place where you’re all accepted, to worship a father in heaven who freely forgives you, and with great sincerity We hope everyone is drawn closer to our loving father in heaven today - that, and that no one finds today’s service too punishing. - no pressure Pr.

Blessings to you all.


All items on this site are written by Scott Wegener, a multi award-winning Australian creative writer, specialising in fun Christian dramas and articles. He believes in looking on the lighter side of life while still valuing the eternal seriousness of life's decisions. This site is essentially a place Scott stores his works, sometimes without much copy-editing (do forgive any spelling/grammar creativity you spot on this site that comes free of charge due to his slight dyslexia).