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Dec 19, 2020

Christmas Cross ['Breaking news' skit]

 Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church Online Christmas service - December 19, 2020



1 Newsreader
Tonight on Channel B news:
• Traffic chaos on the D1, as census travellers come to town.
• Accommodation lockout, as the inns fill up city-wide.
• Parliament requests ideas, for an end of year religious festival.
• Bethlehem Broncos name their new coach.
• And one puppy’s lucky escape from falling down a well.
But first to breaking news.
A bright light has been seen in our sky tonight.
We cross now to Edison for more on this breaking story.


2 ASTRONOMER
EDISON: Thanks Rachel. Yes, a bright light has mysteriously appeared over Bethlehem tonight.
I’m here with the head of the astronomy task force, Galileo.
So, what is this light we can see in the sky tonight?

GALILEO: We don’t know, actually.

EDISON: I’m sorry? You don’t know what the bright light is?

GALILEO: No. There’s nothing on our scrolls that show something like this should be appearing in the sky tonight. In fact, we’ve never seen something this bright in the night sky before. We’re very excited.
[holds a dull, not excited face for 3 seconds]

EDISON: Yes, of course you are.… well there you have it, there’s no bright ideas here, back to you, Rachel.

3 Newsreader
Thanks, Edison.
We now cross to Barbra, who is with a shepherd who saw something else in the sky tonight. What’s the story, Barbra?

4 SHEPHERD
BARBRA: Yes, Rachel, I’m here with Germain, who is a professional sheep watcher. Tell me, what did you see tonight?

GERMAIN: I was just counting my sheep, and getting a little tired, you know, but then this bright light appeared. Scared me sheepless. It was an angel, and he told me a messiah was born, and that I’d find him lying in a manger.

BARBRA: And did you find this messiah?

GERMAIN: Not yet. I have a lost sheep at the moment, but as soon as I find her, I wool go look for this messiah.

BARBRA: There you have it: a shepherd, an angel and a Messiah. Seems the grass really is greener out here. Back to you, Rachel.

5 Newsreader
An interesting development indeed, thank ‘ewe’…. Baaarbra
Let’s cross to our political correspondent at Herod’s palace and see what the government know about this. Washington, what have you found out?

6 PRIEST
WASHINGTON: Yes, Rachel, I was here earlier when some wise men from the east visited King Herod. They too mentioned this messiah, and that made Herod furious. I hadn’t seen him so angry since someone parked in his chariot space last Wednesday.
I have Herod’s personal priest here. Pablo, can you confirm where the messiah is to be born?

PABLO: Yes. According to the prophet Micah, he will be born in Bethlehem. [waves to camera] Hi mum!

WASHINGTON: Well, there you have it. It does appear this little town will bring the messiah to the world.
Now, Herod has sent these wise guys out to find the baby, and asked them to report back where the child is, so that he may “worship” him also.
From what I can tell though, if they do tell Herod where he is, that will be the end of the baby, because you know Herod, he’s known for killing anyone who might take over his throne.

7 Newsreader
[cuts off]
We interrupt our political reporter because we’ve just located a wise man who was at Herod’s palace. Let’s now cross to Fien-stine, what have you found out?

8 WISEMAN
FIENSTINE: Yes, Rachel, I’m here with Solomon, who says he’s travelled many months following this bright light, which has led him to Bethlehem.
Tell me Solomon, who is it you hope to find here tonight?

SOLOMON: Well, we have been studying the ancient scriptures and we believe the messiah can be found here. We’re on our way to find him now.

FIENSTINE: And where exactly in Bethlehem do you hope to find this messiah?

SOLOMON: We came across some excitable shepherds earlier and they mentioned an angel told them he could be found in a manger, so we’re currently visiting the barn of every inn and hope we can find this messiah.

FIENSTINE: There you have it! The messiah is in a manger somewhere in Bethlehem tonight, Rachel.


9 Newsreader
Ok. Well, let’s cross to the Best Eastern Inn, any newborns there tonight?

10
Nope, nothing here but horse poo, Rachel.

11 Newsreader
Ok, let’s cross to the Uncomfortable Inn, any newborns there tonight?

12
Nope nothing here but three rats and a scorpion, Rachel.

13 Newsreader
Ok, let’s cross to the Hill-Ten, any newborns there tonight?

14 MANGER
REPORTER: Yes, Rachel, I was speaking to the innkeeper earlier and he said there was a man with a pregnant lady who he sent to their barn last night, and we’re just coming up to the Barn now.
[knock]
Excuse me, we’re looking for the messiah?

JOE: Mary, some more visitors.
Hello, yes, come in…. Here’s the little man.

REPORTER: And this is the messiah?

JOE: Yes, according to the angels that visited us, he is.

REPORTER: Well, I’m lost for words. This…. is the messiah?

JOE: Yes, wanna hold?

REPORTER: No thanks. Has he said anything about how he’s going to bring peace to our nation?

JOE: No… not yet.

REPORTER: Well, there you have it, Rachel: the messiah - He’s been found - but hasn’t made any political changes just yet. We’ll camp out here and be the first to tell you when he takes his first steps to bringing freedom to his people. Back to you.

15 Newsreader
[Now relaxed, deeply moved, and speaking from their heart instead of a script]
Well… this is amazing.
I mean, in all my news reading career, and the hundreds of reporters I’ve done crosses to, I never thought I’d see the messiah on a cross…..
Surely the greatest news story of all time…. People at home, wherever you are… that cross is dedicated to you.
Peace be with you.

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