Missed Messiah [Christmas skit]

[A Priest finishes a day’s work at the temple. Meets up with his trader mates for an evening drink.]

PRIEST: Wow what a day. Did you see that guy try and bring a pig in for sacrifice today!

TRADER: I did! Oh, the Blasphemy!

PRIEST: I know! I couldn’t believe it! Know the rules, pilgrims!

TRADER: The way you jumped on that table and ripped your clothes and demanded they remove the swine at once! Wow, epic show.

PRIEST: Did you like that?

TRADER: Mate, you even scared me for a moment there!

PRIEST: Hey, did you start charging to inspect people’s BYO sacrifices today?

TRADER: Sure did. I tell you, easiest money!

PRIEST: Really? People were happy to pay to get their pink parchment?

TRADER: Sure were. Well, not like they had a choice. They either pay or don’t get their sins forgiven.

PRIEST: And after charging them for the inspection, you still rejected most of their animals - no matter their condition?

TRADER: Of course. We can’t sell them premium livestock if their sacrifice is approved, can we!

PRIEST: Genius. Double offering. 

TRADER: Yep! CA-CHING!

PRIEST: What is CA-CHING?

TRADER: It’s the sound of shekels being dropped in a basket!

PRIEST: Our lord will be so happy with the money we are raising for his temple.

TRADER: Minus deductions, of course.

PRIEST: Of course. Wink, wink. Say no more.

TRADER: Any news on a messiah coming?

PRIEST: There’s a couple of hopefuls out there, actually. There’s one with some royal blood, who is quite the worrier. Man can he swing a sword. I suspect he might be the one.

TRADER: Can he use a Bow too? And a spear? Overthrow these Romans once and for all.

PRIEST: They say he’s mastered all weapons of war. And has quite the temper. You don’t want to upset him, they say.

TRADER: Sweet. Well let me know when he’s in town next, I’d love to introduce my sister to him. 

PRIEST: Oh, sneaky. Trying to end up in the good books with the messiah, hey.

TRADER: To easy. No one can resist my sister.

PRIEST: Tell me about it.

TRADER: What?

PRIEST: What? Nothing?

TRADER: What do you think will be the best part when the Messiah announces himself?

PRIEST: Other than making the Romans our slaves, the thing I dream about most is the way he’ll enforce the sabbath with authority! 

TRADER: Oh, really?

PRIEST: Yeah, there'll be no more “Oh forgive me, Mr priest, I was helping someone rescue a lamb, I had to break the sabbath or the lamb would die:” Please. Rules are rules. Black and white. Once the messiah’s here, no one will break the sabbath, or else…

PRIEST: SHH! Do you hear something? 

TRADER: Like what?

PRIEST: It was like the sound of an intergalactic portal opening and closing.

TRADER: You’ve been reading too many SiFi scrolls, man!

[FANFARE STARTS FROM BALCONY, ANGEL WALKS ONTO BALCONY, WITH TRUMPET]

TRADER: AAUUGGHH! There! What is that?

PRIEST: I don’t know. Don’t make eye contact. It may think we’re trying to assert our dominance!

ANGEL: [friendly and excited] “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” 

PRIEST: I think it’s Elijah?

ANGEL: Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 

PRIEST: The Messiah? THE MESSIAH’S HERE!!!

ANGEL: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

PRIEST: [confused] Whaaaat???? Where??

ANGEL: Lying in a manger.

TRADER: Like a food trough for animals, kind of manger?

ANGEL: Yes, wrapped in cloths.

TRADER: AAAUUUHHH Good one! Is that you Justinus? Verry funny! You had us there for a moment. Very impressive makeup – you look amazing. And look, he’s shaved!

ANGEL: I am not joking. I am an Angel of the lord, come to tell you the messiah, the Lord has been born. 

PRIEST: And is lying in a Manger?

ANGEL: Yes.

PRIEST: [sarcastically] Well, kind angel. Thank you for this message. I tell you what. We’ll pop right over to visit after we count today’s takings.

TRADER: Should we bring anything? Perhaps a crown of hay or something?

PRIEST: Oh wait, wait, we have those tickets, you know.

TRADER: Oh yeah, we’ve got tickets to Phantom of the Synagogue tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

PRIEST: Tell you what. Why don’t you go let those shepherds out in the field know about this. They’re probably free tonight!

ANGEL: No, no. This is good news that will cause great joy for all the people.

PRIEST: Sorry can’t help. But thanks! 

TRADER: Don’t fall off your ladder!

[Angel leaves, confused] 

PRIEST: Hilarious. The messiah, lying in a food trough. I can’t think of anything less majestic.

TRADER: Imagine him heading into the palace to take control, they’d be like “Oh look, it’s mangy boy. Looking for work, are we? How about you wash my feet – mess…hire. ”
[start to exit]

PRIEST: Mess… hire. [chuckles] Good one.
[Sighs] Can you imagine the symbolism of the messiah in manger – what kind of a God would THAT portray?

 

Presentation: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - December 20, 2025    

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All items on this site are written by Scott Wegener, a multi award-winning Australian creative writer, specialising in fun Christian dramas and articles. He believes in looking on the lighter side of life while still valuing the eternal seriousness of life's decisions. This site is essentially a place Scott stores his works, sometimes without much copy-editing (do forgive any spelling/grammar creativity you spot on this site that comes free of charge due to his slight dyslexia).

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