Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Apr 23, 2008

Know it? Do it!

Imagine a world that studied and lived by Jesus’ teachings.

CQ, April 23, 2008
HOW-TO
Ps. 18:30

To have a positive effect on this world, Jesus’ teachings cannot merely be acknowledged and left to gather dust.They must be acted upon. So how can we act upon Jesus’ teachings to change ourselves, others, and the world for the better?

Apr 19, 2008

What is truth? And how does it relate to potatoes?


While this question was made famous by Pilate, it is the motto of “Scott’s Silly Answers”—as you’ll soon see.
Jesus says “I am the way, the truth and the life,” however, those who choose not to believe Him use the “DaTruth Code” to discover an alternate answer.

The code is as follows:

It is said “The truth hurts” and the one thing most commonly referred to as hurting is childbirth.
Childbirth has a connection with the “birds and the bees” and bees make honey, which is sticky. Sticky tape is an alternative to Blu-Tack, which, on appearance, not taste, can be substituted with bubblegum.
Bubbles are created by dishwashing detergent, and a lot of detergent is needed when washing pots where soup has burnt onto the bottom. Soup is often served at church lunches, which is a “godsend” after a long sermon.
Often people can be found sleeping during long sermons, and there are many people in the world who snore while sleeping.
"It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring” is a saying we’ve all heard, and is closely linked to the clue about it “raining cats and dogs.” Cats and dogs don’t get along, often fighting, and those who fight for a profession are called firefighters.
Fires are most commonly started by matches and you must strike a match to get fire. Tenpin bowling’s most desired outcome is a strike, where 10 pins are knocked down in one shot.
This points to humans, having 10 fingers and 10 toes, totalling 20. Now 20 divided by X = Y and “why?” is the question most often asked by small children—and they are notorious for filling their nappies with something resembling pumpkin soup.
Pumpkin is a popular vegetable but slightly less so than potatoes, which most people desire in one form or another, just like truth.
Thus, truth is a potato.

Frustrating Fact: This sentence is a lie.

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