Bible Heroes 2.oh [script]

A play for a large group, introducing a theme of "Bible Heroes" and how the Bible hero's power came from God.
Has a science fiction theme and an optional David and Goliath musical mime in the middle for a large cast. 

NOTE: This script can be adapted to be for only the two main characters only if all lines with references to David are removed.
This is a standalone script but also has a follow-up script with the two main characters called "Rule of Love" which talks about how it's better to lead with love, and not domination and revenge.

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CAST: 

 - Zorg thinks he’s the biggest evil villain in the galaxy, somewhat overacting the role as a villain. Wears a cape

- X-on is a studious assistant, quite level headed and matter-of-fact about things. Wears a hat (for the gag in the script).

- Both can have outrageous ‘space’ attire/accessories if desired.

Script:

[Zorg is on stage, X-on enters]

X-on: Commander Zorg!

Zorg: Yes, what is it, X-on?

X-on: I bring disappointing news.

Zorg: Oh really, what is that? Has my spaceship been towed again?

X-on: No. It's those human Bible heroes we cloned from earth.

Zorg: Oh yes, my ingenious plan to rule the galaxy by re-birthing the greatest
ever heroes of all time. Has the cloning not worked as drafted?

X-on: Not at all, the cloning went perfectly well. Each Biblical hero is exactly the
same DNA, training and skills as when in their prime in the Bible, as requested.

Zorg: Well what is the problem?

X-on: Well . . . they’re a terrible bunch, sir.

Zorg: Yes, that’s why we created them, to bring terror on the surrounding
planets.

X-on: No, I mean they are hardly material for leading our legions.

Zorg: What do you mean? We chose the greatest of the greats, in wisdom,
courage and military lead head counts, how can these be anything else than all
powerful? They are by far the greatest of our entire galaxy, statistically speaking.

X-on: No but…

Zorg: Did we clone David?

X-on: Yes but…

Zorg: Great! Play the hologram of David we have downloaded on our plasma drive. You’ll see how powerful this guy was - even when he was just a kid.

X-on: Very well..…

[Ride of the Valkyries music starts]

0-20 All miming cast rush on stage, Israelites on one side, philistines on other, all squatting down.

25-35 Goliath come out and taunts the Israelites along with the trombone playing. The Israelites cower backwards. Goliath turns his back and walks back to philistines when trombones stop and Israelites loo relieved and squat back to original height.

40-55 Repeat

1.00-1.10 Goliath taunts, philistines raise arm in music echo, Goliath taunts, they all taunt

1.10-1.20 Goliath taunts, philistines raise arm in music echo, Goliath taunts, they all taunt

1:20 Little David stands and Goliath rants with the trombones pointing at David.

1:35 David in the last trombone part strongly points to the sky then points at Goliath,

1:40 with the strings playing, David starts whizzing his arm around as if having a sling and firing for the descending notes.

1:48 Goliath mimed being hit in the head, stumbles a bit then falls in time with the strings descending notes.

1:55 in time with the flutes double tooting,
· The Philistines all lean forward and look at Goliath on the ground.
· All look at each other
· All look at Israelites,
· All look at audience
· Stay motionless staring at audience and slowly turn their faces from surprise to terror

2:07 as trombone start again, everything proceeds in slow motion as the philistines run (in slow motion) out the isle of the church. Israelite army stand up and chase after them in slow motion too.
Leaving behind David with an imaginary sword being raised to chop off Goliath's head and he freezes as music stops. X-on with their imaginary remote pointed at them.


Zorg: Hey, why’d you stop for? This is the best bit.

X-on: Just thinking of the children, sir.

Zorg: Funny, I don’t recall having any children.

X-on: [mutters] Amen to that.

Zorg: What??!!

X-on: Err, A mended hat! ‘dips hat’. I had my hat fixed last Androma-day

Zorg: Right?? Well, you see how powerful David is. Surely our clone of him alone will let us rule the galaxy!

X-on: Well you see . . . there’s something different about the clones though. It’s like they’re missing something.

Zorg: Impossible, the cloning included every single earthy attribute. We missed
nothing!

X-on: Yes, sir, you’re right, but I went back and read through the Bible and have
come across an anomaly.

Zorg: An anomonimionaly??

X-on: An anomaly, yes sir?

Zorg: What is that?

X-on: An anomaly is an inconsistency in. . .

Zorg: I know what an anomonionalmly is, I just can’t pronounce it.

X-on: Right, Sir, well, it seems the missing element in each of our Bible hero’s is….
God.

Zorg: God?

X-on: God. . . With a capital G.

Zorg: Each Bible hero had the power of God behind them?

X-on: Yes Sir

Zorg: Without God, they are somewhat average, you say.

X-on: Below average in some cases, yes sir.

Zorg: But David, and that giant!??

X-on: Here, let me rewind and show you something

[in reverse Goliath stumbles to standing, David whizzes arm and then points up]

X-on: Pause! See there. Look at David.

Zorg: What, so he has a question and raised his hand. [to audience] That’s very polite on a battle field.

X-on: No! He’s pointing to God. It’s God who gave them their power to achieve great things.

[both begin to exit]

Zorg: [sigh] right... well... what about that man who got bitten by a spider and gained superpowers. Can we get clone them?

X-on: [confused with the silly suggestion] Ummm, that was just a story, sir.

Zorg: Of course... I knew that.... Did you turn the Hologram off.

X-on: Oh no. Here we go.

[David and Goliath unfreeze and look around as normal people, shrug shoulder and bow and walk off.]
 
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Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church - February 2, 2013
Edinburgh College Chapel - November 16, 2015
Castle Hill
Seventh-day Adventist Church - August 13, 2022
Windsor
Seventh-day Adventist Church -  September 17, 2022
Greater Sydney Pathfinder Rally Day November 19, 2022

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All items on this site are written by Scott Wegener, a multi award-winning Australian creative writer, specialising in fun Christian dramas and articles. He believes in looking on the lighter side of life while still valuing the eternal seriousness of life's decisions. This site is essentially a place Scott stores his works, sometimes without much copy-editing (do forgive any spelling/grammar creativity you spot on this site that comes free of charge due to his slight dyslexia).

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