Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Mar 8, 2014

Church Hospitality Made Easy 2: Stopping from Leaving

Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church - March 8, 2014
Brief: A short drama to match a sermon bout keeping people in the church through hospitality.

[Presenter is at main pulpit. A row of 3 chairs are on stage facing the audience. Member 1 and 2 are seated on the ends, visitor in the middle]
 
[Presenter] Welcome to chapter 14 of Church Hospitality made easy, I’m your host, Ray Martin.
In this chapter we’re talking about how to keep people from leaving church through hospitality.

There are many ways to prevent members from leaving the church, such as using the art of infinite conversation to deny any opportunity for someone to leave.

[Member 2] Hi, great service wasn’t it, did you like it, I liked it, do how was your week, mine was terrible, let me tell you all about it.

[Presenter] Another method is to never open any windows to provide oxygen to the brain during long sermons, preventing rational decision making.


[Member 1 sleeps, Visitor & Member 2 sit and stare, motionless]

[Presenter] And, of course, the ever effective method of keeping people in your church - hiding the exits

[Member 1 & 2] Drag pot plants in front of the side doors.

[Presenter] But the most effective way to keep people in your church is by showing genuine hospitality.
This can be done by showing people you care about them. The top four ways to show you care for someone, include:  Supporting them emotionally,

[Member 1] Is that a tear in your eye? Awww, let me give you a hug!

[Presenter] Supporting them physically

[Member 2] Here, let me hold the Bible for you.

[Presenter] Supporting them spiritually

[ Member 3] Prays: "Lord, give our friend the strength to stay in your church."

[Presenter] And supporting them sportingly

Visitor flicks through their Bible to find a verse, Members 1 & 2 chant and clap:
“go, go, go, go, go, go, go, YEAH!!!”

[Presenter] If people see you genuinely care, they will want to stay! [ 1 second pause here]

Member 1 & 2 look away and look exhausted as if it’s so hard to care for someone.
Visitor gets their bag and tip toe down the isle, turning into a run

[Presenter] But if you lack such genuine care and support, why WOULD you want to remain in a particular church?

Member 1 & 2 notice the visitor has left, they jump up and follow down the isle

[Member 1] Hey wait, we haven’t finished caring for you!

[Presenter] Congratulations. You have completed the “How to keep people from leaving church through hospitality” chapter.
In summary: Genuinely care for people and they will genuinely want to stay, generally speaking.

In the next chapter we look at the do’s and don’ts of gossip in the church, including, how to research gossip before you post it on Facebook.
Thanks for watching, I’m Ray Martin.

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