Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church - September 6, 2014
Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - September 3, 2022
Brief: A fun drama skit on the theme Father's Day.
[Presenter] Good morning everyone! As most of you will be aware, tomorrow is Father’s Day.
This is a day where we celebrate our dads, and the love and efforts they put into their family.
Unfortunately, for various reasons, there are many people who don’t have a loving father. But be assured. . . you do have a loving Father in heaven who is waiting for you.
But until then, for those who just can’t wait until we get to heaven, we would like to introduce the latest and greatest father replacement technology money can buy - the Father 5000!!!!
[Father walks on with fanfare soundtrack, which turns into shopping music]
[Father] Hello.... every....body!
[Presenter] The Father 5000 is built so life-like, it not only has a receding hairline.
[Father glances sideways at presenter]
[Presenter] Unlike earlier models the Father 5000 now has full facial recognition capabilities.
[Little girl enters stage] [Father] Hello.... uncle bob!
[Presenter] And now has the ability to give hugs without crushing people.
[Father] Come and give me a hug. [Father turns and hugs the air before child gets close enough]
[Presenter] This replacement father comes fully loaded with software that allows it to help around the house, and it can even help with a child’s homework when connected to wi-fi.
[Girl – with atlas or globe] Father, where is Chile?
[Father] Antarctica. It’s very chilly in Antarctica. Temperatures get down to −89.2°C
[Girl – with atlas or globe] NO, where can I find Chile?
[Father] Chilli can be found on the top shelf of the pantry. Especially good in Mexican dishes.
[Presenter] And the father can even play sport in the back yard.
[Girl] Here catch! [Girl throws but hits chest, with father’s arms reacting too slowly. Then girl puts ball in father's hand] Here. Throw it to me! [Father throws it as hard as he can, over the girls head]
[Presenter] For only $9.99 per month you can also now have the ‘dad joke’ feature unlocked.
[Girl] Tell me a joke dad!
[Father] Why did the blonde lady have trouble driving at night?
She had poor eyesight. Lol lol lol. She needs corrective lenses. Calling Richard McLean Optometrist… 02 9980 80...
[Girl] No, cancel call. (“Call Cancelled”)
[Presenter] And for only 4.95 a month, you can remove those pesky ads.
But the most amazing feature of the Father 5000 is the patented ability to feel emotions.
[Girl falls over] [Father] Oh no......you’ve....fallen..... over. I must now cry...
[Father begins to cry, then gets a jammed eye and repetitively calls out till the end of the drama: "Left eye needs oil."]
[Presenter] Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Father 5000!
Replacing the irreplaceable! (Can I get some help, deacons, please?)
[Two men come out, turn him off, tip him sideways and pick up Father sideways, Father remains rigid to look like a metal object.”]