Christmas Made Easy: Gift Giving

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - December 17, 2016
Brief: A Christmas drama to fit the topic “The Gift of Giving”.

[Presenter] Welcome to chapter 9 of Christmas made easy.
We hope you enjoyed the previous chapter on how to avoid Christmas with your in-laws.
In this chapter we’re discussing the most up-to-date, scientifically verified, gift giving techniques that will ensure your Christmas gift opening ceremony will be a success.
The first thing to consider when buying a gift for someone this Christmas, is how much you will spend on each person. Make sure you spend enough to suitably impress.

Brendan: Oh wow, a book. Thanks

[Presenter] But definitely don’t underspend.

Joshua: Oh wow, a page from a book... no... half a page.


[Presenter] But likewise, don’t overspend either.

Matthew: Oh wow, a new BMW!

[Presenter] Or you may not be able to keep up in years ahead

Matthew: I can’t wait until I see what you get me next year - I’d love my own corporate Jet!

[Presenter]  If you can’t afford to buy presents, then it’s acceptable to re-gift presents from last year. But just be careful you don’t give a gift back to the person who gave it to you in the first place

Ruth: Oh wow, a ‘world’s greatest dad” mug, thanks dad!

[Presenter] If you don’t know a person very well, but are required to give a gift to them, Make sure you buy a safe generic present. Avoid purchasing niche presents

Brendan: Oh wow, a hair straightener... thanks uncle Ray.

[Presenter] Be careful not to give gifts which are suggestive

Ally: Hey Granddad, I got you a 12 pack of deodorant and mouthwash.

[Presenter] When wrapping a gift, the box size is important.
It should be big enough to be impressive at first sight - bringing subconscious glory to your name,

Joshua: Oh wow, I can't wait to see what this is.

[Presenter] But be careful not to have an inappropriately oversized box that brings inflated expectations, which will be crushed upon opening the gift.

Matthew: Oh wow, stand aside peoples, I’ve been given a... bag of paper-clips??

[Presenter] If you’re wrapping multiple gifts, take special care to correct names of recipients on each gift to avoid embarrassment

Ruth: Oh wow... a hunting knife
Joshua: Oh wow... nail polish

[Presenter] Occasionally you may find yourself in an awkward situation where you forgot to buy someone a gift. If this happens to you, do not stress. Simply make up a polite story.

Brendan: Your gift didn’t arrive in time, sorry Aunty Mavis, we ordered it from the UK weeks ago..

[Presenter] But don’t overdo the story to make it unbelievable.

Matthew: An elephant stole it from the postal truck and sat on it - What are the chances!?

[Presenter] Finally, part of the gift giving procedure of Christmas also includes receiving gifts.
When you first receive a gift, be politely thankful.

Ruth: Oh, you shouldn’t have, thanks.

[Presenter] But don’t over do it.

Brendan: A gift!....for me!..... Really?.... No!.... Really? ... No!.... You shouldn’t have!..... Are you sure?..... You really shouldn't have!..... For me?..... Really?..... No....

[Presenter] And upon opening a gift, and realising it is either tasteless or inappropriate, simply politely fake a little joy.

Joshua: Oh....why.... Goodie..... A wooden spoon. Thank you.

[Presenter] Do not under any circumstance OVER express joy

Matthew: Oh WOW!!!!! TWO WOODEN SPOONS!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!! Not one - TWO!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!! WOOOOHHOO!!

[Presenter] Or it could backfire

Ally: Oh I didn't know you liked them so much. I have a whole garage full - well I guess I have your birthday and Christmas presents sorted then... for the rest of your life! And here I thought you’d have preferred money like I’ll give your sisters.


[Presenter] Congratulations. You have completed the “Gift giving” chapter.
In the next chapter we look at the safest food options to serve for Christmas dinner when you have a large number of people attending - but only ONE bathroom.
We hope you enjoyed this tutorial. Remember to subscribe and comment below.
Thanks for watching, I’m [make up a presenters name you want to be called].

COPYRIGHT

All items on this site are written by Scott Wegener, a multi award-winning Australian creative writer, specialising in fun Christian dramas and articles. He believes in looking on the lighter side of life while still valuing the eternal seriousness of life's decisions. This site is essentially a place Scott stores his works, sometimes without much copy-editing (do forgive any spelling/grammar creativity you spot on this site that comes free of charge due to his slight dyslexia).

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