Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Jul 22, 2017

First Birthdays

Performance: Sydney Adventist School Auburn
100 Year Anniversary Celebration
- July  22, 2017
Brief: A puppet play to fit in with the theme "we are made by God"


•    JOE: sensible, inquisitive
•    WALLACE: frivolous, know it all.
•    GRANDPA: kind, intelligent. (egg carton prop)

[Joe enters, whistling, glances at audience but keeps going, then freezes. Looks back at audience. Pans looking from side to side in amazement and calls out.]
JOE: Umm, Grandpa!
[Pa enters, looking at girl.]
Pa: Yes, Joe.
JOE: [whispers] There's a whole bunch of people here.
PA: [looks around] Oh, so there are.
JOE: Whyyyy?... It's a Saturday.
PA: Well, they're probably here for the birthday party.
JOE: [excited] Birthday!
PA: Yes, 100 years old.
JOE: [amazed] 100 years, wow.... none of them look that old. Except maybe that guy over there with the beard.
PA: No, it's not their birthday.
JOE: [jumps in quickly] Is it your birthday, grandpa? Wow didn't know your were 100!
PA: No, I'm not 100.
JOE: You're not? Well how much older are you? You don't look a day over 110!

PA: No, it's this school that is 100 years old.
JOE: Oh, I see, the school.... it must have been a big hospital?
PA: A big hospital?
JOE: Yeah, that this school was born in.
PA: Errr, I don't think the school was born in a hospital.
JOE: Where do schools come from then, Grandpa?
PA: Well, it takes a lot of planning first...
[ball hits Joe on the head]
JOE: OOWW!
WALLACE: Have you seen my ball, Joe?
JOE: Seen? No [rubs head] Felt? Yes! That hurt!!
WALLACE: Well, it's not my fault you can't catch.
JOE: I'll catch you...
WALLACE: WHOA! Who are all these kids?
PA: They're here for the birthday party
WALLACE: Party? Sweet!
JOE: Yeah - 100 years!
WALLACE: A hundred. I thought grandad already turned 100.
PA: Hey, I'm only 76. [mutters] or is it 78?
JOE: No, the school's turned 100.
WALLACE: Oh, cool....  I'd better go get some sunscreen and sunglasses.
JOE: What for - it's the middle of winter?
WALLACE: Well that's a lot of candles that will be on the cake - you can't be too careful these days.
PA: Very funny, Wallace. Look I have to go and put these eggs in the fridge. I'll be back soon.
JOE: Hey Wallace
WALLACE: Yes Joe
JOE: Where do chickens come from?
WALLACE: Umm, they come from eggs, Joe, like what grandpa was carying.
JOE: I know that, but where do the eggs come from?
WALLACE: Umm, they come from Chickens.
JOE: But where did THAT chicken come from?
WALLACE: An egg?
JOE: Yeah, but before that egg
WALLACE: A chicken
JOE: Yes, I know that, but what about before that chicken?
WALLACE: An egg. That’s how it goes: chicken lays an egg, hatches a chicken, who lays an egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken egg, chicken egg, chicken egg, chick . . .
JOE: I get it! But what came very first? Was it a chicken?
WALLACE: No, a chicken came from an egg.
JOE: So an egg came first
WALLACE: No the egg came from a chicken
JOE: Oh STOP IT! What was the very, very, very, very, very first thing, a chicken or an egg?
WALLACE: Dunno, maybe they always eggsisted... ha, ha, EGGsisted, get it, EGG - sisted!
JOE: Yes, I get it. You “crack” me up.... Maybe Grandpa knows. Grandpa!!
PA: What’s up?
JOE: We’ll we were wondering, where do chickens come from?
PA: Well, as I recall they come from eggs.
WALLACE: Told you!
JOE: No, no, no. I mean what came very, very, VERY first! The chicken or the egg?
PA: Well let me see. I think it would have been a chicken.
WALLACE: Told you!
JOE: Ok, but where did that chicken come from?
WALLACE: An egg,
PA: No, Wallace, the very, very, VERY first chicken didn’t come from an egg?
WALLACE: It didn’t?
PA: No
WALLACE: Did it come from a pet shop?
PA: No, Wallace, God made it.
JOE: God made it?
PA: Yes, God mad everything.
JOE: God made EVERYTHING!!???
PA: Yes He did.
JOE: Did he make Cows too?
PA: Yep
WALLACE: And piggys?
PA: Yep
JOE: And frogs and dogs?
PA: Yes
WALLACE: And birds and kangaroos and zebras and lions and bees and whales?
PA: All of those, yes.
JOE: What about . . . flowers, trees and grass?
PA: Yes, those too!
WALLACE: Ok, what about the sun and moon?
PA: He did.
JOE: Wow. God made everything!
WALLACE: Hang on, hang on!! What about our fence at home. God didn’t make that cause I saw YOU making that, Grandpa.
PA: Well, I did put it together
WALLACE: I See! So God didn’t make everything!!?
PA: No well just a minute: what is the fence made out of?
WALLACE: Umm, wood?
PA: That’s right. And where did wood come from?
WALLACE: Trees?
PA: That’s right, and who made the trees?
WALLACE: God??
PA: Yes. God created everything during the first 6 days of earth. It’s what we call creation.
WALLACE: What about your Volvo, did God make that? Cause if he did he didn’t do a very good job, it keeps breaking down!
PA: It does, doesn’t it. Well cars are put together by people, but they use things found on the world, like metal. And it was God who made the metal and everything else.
JOE: Wow, so God really did make everything on the world!
PA: Yes he did. In only six days.
JOE: Six days,
PA: Yes indeed
JOE: The whole world?
PA: That’s right
WALLACE: Wow, it took you 6 months to finish just that fence!
PA: That is true, I could have done it quicker if someone didn’t keep taking my hammer!
WALLACE: Oh, yeah, sorry about that, we were just practicing for the Olympics.
PA: What do you need a hammer for in the Olympics?
WALLACE: The Hammer throw!
PA: I see.
JOE: So did God make us to, grandpa? Because I've been told my mum spent 18 hours in a hospital doing hard labour before I could be born.
WALLACE: Yeah and we hear dad fainted when he saw you, you were so ugly.
PA: HEY, that's NOT true. Your dad and I just feel a little dizzy at hospitals sometime. You were both beautiful babies.
JOE: So WE didn't come from God then, because I look just like mum too.
PA: No. Just like the chicken’s parent’s, parent’s, parent’s, parent’s, parent’s were made by God. Your parent’s, parent’s, parent’s, parent’s, parent’s were Adam and Eve. Who were made by God. So you were made by God through Adam and Eve.
WALLACE: Whoa Adam and Eve are our grandparents then?
PA: Absolutely. But do you know the really special thing about when Adam and Eve were created?
WALLACE: Uuurr, you fainted?
PA: No....God previously spoke to make everything: “let there be light, let there be a moon, let there be trees, let there be animals”. BUT God didn't just speak to make your grandparents.
JOE: He didn't?
PA: No. God took the time to carefully make your grandparents with his own hands. And He even made them with bodies similar to His. You are made in God’s image.
WALLACE: So God is our great grandparent then too?
 PA: Actually - He's the GREATEST grandparent, and we are all His most special creations!
JOE: Wow, we are made more special than anything else in the world?
PA: That's it! Well I got to go get some more eggs from home. Not enough for the big cake apparently - loved talking with you two special kids.
Kids: Thanks grandpa.
JOE: Hey Wallace.
WALLACE: Yeah?
JOE: Where did God come from then – if HE made everything?
[start to leave]
WALLACE: Wheer did God come from? That's easy! The Bible!
JOE: But where did the Bible come from then?
WALLACE: From God...
JOE: [sighs] Here we go again... Grandpa!

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