Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Sep 2, 2017

Parenting Made Easy: How to tell a Dad joke

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - Sep 2, 2017
Brief: A Father's day skit drama


Joker 1:
Joker 2:
Presenter:
Dad 1:
Dad 2:
Oliver:
Girl:

[jokers stand on one side, presenter in the middle, dads on other side]

P: Welcome to chapter 18 of parenting made easy. We hope you enjoyed our previous chapter exploring the usefulness of various toolbox items when you need an emergency hair tie for school photos.

[girl with cable tie plats walks onto stage like a model, spins, poses her hair, and leaves]

P: In this chapter we're looking at one of the most critical aspects of fatherhood every man needs to master: how to tell a dad joke.
Most traditional jokes require some kind of funniness.

J1: A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry to bother you, sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

P: However, the first rule for any dad joke is the joke must never... be funny.

O: I'm hungry
D1: pleased to meet you, hungry!

[Oliver trips down stairs leaving]

P: Dad jokes should be short and straight to the uncalled for punch line:

D1: Enjoy your trip? 


P:B e careful not to confuse Dad jokes for grandfather jokes, which while also not funny, are actually more drawn out, and make no sense what so ever 

D2: so there was a farmer out in the far west plowing his field with the groove-master 200, he was putting in a crop of potatoes, it was a rather windy December day and there was no rain forecast for at least two days, and wool prices are down, but he was sowing in December? I know, Hilarious.

P: A dad joke must never be sexist, racist or crude like many traditional jokes told today 

J1: So a blonde woman, an Asian and a Jew walked into a bar and ordered a bowl of baked beans each... 

P: NO! [glares] don't even think about it!
[smiles again, as if nothing happened] Some quality jokes consist of clever puns to bring laughter

J2: I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind


P: Dad jokes will almost always include a pun - but must never be clever enough to cause significant laughter

D1: Very punny.

P: While most traditional jokes require a well timed pause:

J2: Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember Moses? [pause] he started out as a basket case.

P: The critical timing of a dad joke is directly associated with the number of your child's friends being present - the more friends around, the more critical the timing  is to let a dad joke rip:

D2: Have fun at the pool kids - don't get wet!!!

P: The final rule for the perfect dad joke is it must be repetitive, because the only truly perfect dad joke is one which is repeated several... hundred... thousand times.

D2: welcome back, Did you get wet?

P: Now, with all the tools for a dad joke learned, next time you hear a call for a 'round of applause', you'll easily be able to spot the fully trained dads jokers in the audience.

J1&2 clap normally, D1&2 clap in a circle

P: This completes our chapter on how to tell a dad joke. In our next chapter we'll demonstrate 13 ways dads can ask for directions when lost during a family vacation- without looking like you're asking for directions.

D2: say, which route gives you the best mileage to get to the nearest caravan park?

P: As always, subscribe below, I'm [insert name]. Happy Father's Day.

[D1&2 give 'round' of applause ]
[Presenter leaves first with a little trip off stage] 

D1&2: Enjoy the trip?

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