Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - May 18, 2019
[Philip, A very formally dressed man comes in, and speaks poshly, Tanner, a shabbily dressed bikey is in their view]
Philip: Oh, my lordy! Who is that man? What is he doing in here? Is he lost, or come in here to cause trouble? Where are those deacons when you need them. I hope they're not scratching my Volvo while moving those visitor parking signs which were in my spot. I hope they come and remove that man before I give my big offering today. I wouldn't want him stealing it as it passes by him.
What's with that scribbling all over his arms. Tattoos should not be allowed in the sanctuary. Mark of the beast, indeed. You won't find a tattoo on me, except for the name of the Lord on my heart.
Tanner: Oh Lord, be merciful on me. I am a sinner.
Philip: Oh look, It speaketh. That's hardy how one should pray. He didn't even mention 'In Jesus name' at the end. Waste of breath really. God won't answer that.
"Oh mighty Lord God in heaven aboveeth. I thank thee that I am not liketh that filthy man over there. May you bless all the offerings I give today, unlike that man, and thank you for the church lunch provided to nourish me after my fasting again this week. I pray all this in Jesus name, unlike some others here, ar-men".
Look how filthy he is, tattered hair, tattered clothes. Disgraceful. One should not come into the presence of the Lord dressed like that. I spent nine hundred dollars on this suit especially for church. Nothing but the best for our Lord. What would Jesus say if he came in the door and saw that. What would Jesus say!
[Jesus walks in on font balcony and as starts speaking the two guys leave down the isles to foyer]
Jesus: I tell you the truth, it is this sinner who will be justified before God, not this masked hypocrite. Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. [leaves]