Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

May 4, 2019

That's Not The Reason [Mother's day skit]

Brief: A mothers day skit
Performance: Castle Hill Adventurers - May 4, 2019

Narrator: Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to “ancient mysteries solved” - where we answer life's most difficult questions.
We trust you enjoyed our previous lessons on where missing socks go, and how you can convince them to return home.
Today we will explain an ancient mystery to do with Mothers. That is:
Have you ever wondered why mothers get breakfast in bed, and hugs and flowers and cards and crafts with love hearts on them on Mother’s day? Well, we have the answer.
You may think it’s because they spend nine months carrying a bowling ball in their tummy.

Mum: Oh my back!

Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
Often during pregnancy the mother to be can feel quite sick

Mum: Stand back everyone!! SPEW!


Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
It could be for the strong pain some mothers have while the bowling ball come out.

Mum: [yells loud for a long time]

Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
It could be because the mum has to get up at all hours of the night to feed their new-born baby.

Kid: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
It could be for the carpet burn mums get on their knees from scrubbing the carpet during the toilet training months

Kid: MUM! I did a weewee again!

Mum: That's ok [cleans it up]

Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
It could be for all the clothes washing that is done for her children.

Mum: Don’t jump in that....

Kid: [jumps]

Mum: ...cow poo.

Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
It could be for all the the clothes purchased for their children.

Mum: You’ve grown out of your clothes - again!

Narrator: And for all the mending of the clothes.

Mum: You've put a hole in your knees - again!

Narrator: But that’s not the reason.
It could be for all the lunches that were made for school, and all the food shopping done and all the dinner’s cooked

Kid: Mum, I don’t like this.

Mum: Yes you do. Eat up.

Narrator: But none of these are the reasons mothers get breakfast in bed, and hugs and flowers and cards and crafts with love hearts on them on mother's day
The REAL reason is because we haven't figured out a better way to express how much we really love you mum.
Thanks mums, we love you so much!

COPYRIGHT

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This was written by Scott Wegener to accommodate a specific brief. If you want something written specifically for your needs, just ask for a quote!