Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - September 28, 2019
Good morning everyone
We have an interesting topic for today’s sermon,
Actually could you please come up her sir, (organize someone who isn't the preacher to come up with Bible)
What is the title of the sermon today? (Mostly true)
That sounds interesting
And have you preached at Castle hill before? (No I haven’t)
Truthfully? You’ve never preached here before? (No)
Oh, well there you go. Thank you sir. Take a seat.
Well I very much look forward to today’s sermon today titled, what was it? (Mostly true)
Having been asked some time ago to welcome everyone this morning, I had enough time prepare something and run it by our legal team - because apparently I have said some things in previous welcome that are not considered, “traditional” to say during a welcome.
I know - I didn’t know what the church board was talking about either.
So here we go:
It is with utter most sincerity that the church’s leadership team and I would like to welcome ALL those present, visitors and members alike, to Castle Hill seventh day Adventist Church.
We hope you have an enjoyable time with us, that you feel at home among family, and most of all come closer to our loving Father in Heaven from your time spent here.
Do stay for our free lunch immediately after the service down stairs in the hall.
Please give generously to our voluntary offer coming up a little later on as we have
24 hidden surveillance cameras in the room, covering the lower and upper seating areas and if our offering surveillance team deem you were not generous enough in relation to our estimation of your weekly income, based on you attire and the car you drove in with, we will be sending offering debt collectors around to your house in the week, knowing where you live due to our parking attendants placing a GPS deacon beacon under your car after you parked this morning. Accept this as fair notice. Have a nice service.
Yes, by the sounds some of you have figured out this welcome has been ‘mostly true’.
As a result, I hope you all feel ‘mostly welcome’ here today.
Have a blessed Sabbath!
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All items on this site are written by Scott Wegener, a multi award-winning Australian creative writer, specialising in fun Christian dramas and articles. He believes in looking on the lighter side of life while still valuing the eternal seriousness of life's decisions. This site is essentially a place Scott stores his works, sometimes without much copy-editing (do forgive any spelling/grammar creativity you spot on this site that comes free of charge due to his slight dyslexia).