Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - Sept 18, 2021
A formally dressed older ‘conservative’ person walks out and tuns on a stereo, some hymn music starts, they start to sing.
> Holy Holy Holy (hymn)
A casually dressed youth soon comes out and screws up their nose, and not noticing the conservative person, switches the music to some modern Christian song, and starts raising hands, swaying and singing away.
> Holy Holy Holy (praise him and lift him up version with clapping along)
Conservative stares at disbelief at youth, and switches the music back to a new conservative hymn,
Now the youth shocked that someone would come and just change the music, changes it to a new contemporary Christian song,
(song with hands in air)
This repeats 4 more times, faster and more aggressively in succession,
until finally they just switch it off and, in perfect unison, they both speak the following:
- What are you doing?
- I’m trying to worship God.
- You’re trying to worship God?
- Listening to that?
- Yes, I’m worshipping God.
- That Music helps me connect to God.
- Do you think if Jesus were here, HE would be listening to THAT?
- Come on!
- Well, He certainly wouldn’t be listening to what YOU’RE listening to!
- Oh yeah, well if Jesus were here, he’d be…
[Jesus appears from back of stage, back to audience, red backing light, and with a booming deep, echoey sound fx voice says]
Jesus: “If Jesus were here, he’d be furious…” [red light and sound FX turn off as he turns around to face the audience] – just kidding. Hi guys. So, what if I was here?
-Conservative brushes the hair, adjusts their tie and stands at attention – not daring to move or look him in the eye. [then sings traditional Holy, Holy Holy]
-Youth jumps around noisily, arms splayd out “Jesus, it’s you! Yo, everyone, Jesus is in da house of worship! What’s up mate! [then sings/claps contemporary Holy, Hoooly holy]“
Jesus: Oh I love you guys
Look, I want you to live your lives in honour of me, in EVERYTHING you do.
THAT is the truest and most proper worship you can give to me.
Jesus: Romans 12:1
Jesus: JCV [winks]
Conservative: What’s JCV? [suspiciously] But what is it in KJV?
Youth: What’s KJV?
Jesus: Oh I love you guys. See you soon.