Jesus' Angels

Sermon topic:  The God who chases us. He seeks us. He wants us in the kingdom. He doesn't give up on us.

Synopsis: A once esteemed Adventist is so badly hurt by church members he leaves the organisation and, becoming so disillusioned, throws away his faith altogether. Jesus, always chasing the lost, coordinates three angels to preach their messages, and ultimately have him choose to turn his eyes back on Jesus, who is there to receive him immediately. 

 

ANGEL 1:  Well, hello there!!

ANGEL 2:  Oh hi, guys!

ANGEL 3:  We’ll this is looking like an intriguing mission, to need all three of us!

 

ANGEL 1:  Yeah, I wonder what it’s going to be

ANGEL 2:  Find out shortly, I guess.

ANGEL 3:  So, what have you two be up to? Haven’t seen either of you in a millennium!

 

ANGEL 1:  Well, yesterday I had a mission holding back a mud slide, until the village was cleared.

ANGEL 2:  Oh, that’s a messy one!

ANGEL 3:  Good thing your clothing’s made of light!

 

ANGEL 1:  Ohhhhh yeah.

ANGEL 2:  How about you?

ANGEL 3:  Oh, just general traffic light duty for me yesterday, keeping things to a close shave.

 

ANGEL 1:  And how about you?

ANGEL 2:  I’ve just finished a stint on heaven’s worship team actually, playing drums.

ANGEL 3:  Oh! No wonder you’ve been sent back to earth!

[Jesus enters right of stage]

Jesus: Good morning, angels!

3 ANGELS: Good morning, Jesus!

JESUS: I'm sorry to pull you all into another mission so soon, but we've got a case that just can't wait.

{norm slide shows} Meet Norm. He’s a life-long Seventh-day Adventist, previously involved in his church, and avid reader of Record magazine.

Jesus ATM [a church skit about if Jesus gave you everything you prayed for]

NEWMAN: Oh, what a day. So tired. Shower or bed? Shower or… [yawns] bed!

[steps out back door, then there’s an instant knock]

You got to be kidding me. Better not be one of those sales people!

[opens fake door at front of sage]

Jesus?! Hey, come in! I’m so glad you’re here!

JC:  I’m delighted to be here! Thanks for the invitation to move in with you.

NEWMAN: Wow, I can’t believe you’re here!

JC:  What?

NEWMAN: [puzzled at first] Oh no! I believe! I believe - you’re here! Here, I’ve got a little bit of room for you, um, over there. I’m so excited to have you living with me!

JC:  Yeah, me too! I’ve always wanted to hang you with you more than just Saturday mornings.

NEWMAN: Hey, now that you’re here, you can help me. Someone was reading something about you the other day at church.

 JC:  Oh-oh!

NEWMAN: Nah, nah, It’s all good. Let me find it… Where’s my Bible? Is it true that I can ask anything in your name and you’ll do it?

 JC:  Does the Bible say that?

NEWMAN: Yeah… here, look, here.

JC:  Huh. So it does. Well… I guess if it is written then who am I to argue!

NEWMAN: There you go. So… I can ask anything, hey?

JC:  Well… I know that’s literally what is translated, but...

NEWMAN: We’ll you’ll be a great house mate then, won’t you!

JC:  [defeated] Ha, I guess so.

NEWMAN: [jokes] Could you pass the salt, please, Jesus?

JC:  Here [hands salt from bag]

NEWMAN: Nice one! All I need now is some Mashed Potato, Jesus?

JC:  Here. [hands mashed potato]

NEWMAN: What? Wow! You ARE good. What about some chips, Jesus?

Missed Messiah [Christmas skit]

[A Priest finishes a day’s work at the temple. Meets up with his trader mates for an evening drink.]

PRIEST: Wow what a day. Did you see that guy try and bring a pig in for sacrifice today!

TRADER: I did! Oh, the Blasphemy!

PRIEST: I know! I couldn’t believe it! Know the rules, pilgrims!

TRADER: The way you jumped on that table and ripped your clothes and demanded they remove the swine at once! Wow, epic show.

PRIEST: Did you like that?

TRADER: Mate, you even scared me for a moment there!

PRIEST: Hey, did you start charging to inspect people’s BYO sacrifices today?

TRADER: Sure did. I tell you, easiest money!

PRIEST: Really? People were happy to pay to get their pink parchment?

TRADER: Sure were. Well, not like they had a choice. They either pay or don’t get their sins forgiven.

PRIEST: And after charging them for the inspection, you still rejected most of their animals - no matter their condition?

TRADER: Of course. We can’t sell them premium livestock if their sacrifice is approved, can we!

PRIEST: Genius. Double offering. 

TRADER: Yep! CA-CHING!

PRIEST: What is CA-CHING?

TRADER: It’s the sound of shekels being dropped in a basket!

PRIEST: Our lord will be so happy with the money we are raising for his temple.

TRADER: Minus deductions, of course.

PRIEST: Of course. Wink, wink. Say no more.

TRADER: Any news on a messiah coming?

PRIEST: There’s a couple of hopefuls out there, actually. There’s one with some royal blood, who is quite the worrier. Man can he swing a sword. I suspect he might be the one.

A Father's Day Prayer [skit script of a dad praying for his family]

To show a father’s mind of love and care and worry and suffering for his family – though it probably isn’t seen on the outside.

 

[Dad and child walk in stage door, dad holding the ‘L’ plates gets a microphone (pre organise what colour you’ll pick up with sound person), and calls out to child, who never stopped and is walking down the isle to leave through glass doors.]

DAD: Good job with your driving home tonight. Soon you’ll be driving as well as Tiger Woods!

[child roles eyes practically at the glass doors by now]

CHILD: Whatever [call out loudly, no mic needed]

DAD: Golf joke!? [sighs and talks to himself]  Dumb joke. See you in the morning

---

[Dad kneels down and voiceover plays.]

Hi God,

Another day done, hey.

Thank you for your leading today. For safety, and for strength to get through today’s challenges.

Thank you for the blessings in my life. For a job, somewhere to live, A peaceful society where we’re able to freely worship you.

Thank you for blessing me with beautiful family.

Please help me find ways to motivate Lisa to get up in the morning. I really don’t like the daily battle trying to get her up and out the door to school. Please give me more patience with her. I try and be patient but sometimes she makes me late for work, which causes trouble for me. Help me to keep calmer. Help me to know how to connect with Lisa. It breaks my heart how we no longer talk much.

And thank you again for stepping in, again, during Lisa’s driving lesson this week. And thank you that insurance has agreed to cover all damages to the traffic light poles… and the Porche.

Power Up Puppets [5-act puppet play about powering up ones christian walk]

~Act 1 ~ Tuesday ~

STEVIE: All right, have you got your full armour on?

DAVE:  Yep.

STEVIE: Ok, let's get this dragon. And try not to get killed this time.

DAVE:  Wait, wait… I Just need some more chips…

STEVIE: Oh yeah, better powerup!

[chips crunch]

STEVIE: Ok I'll count to three and I'll distract the dragon and you shoot it.

DAVE:  Let’s do it!

STEVIE: OK. 1….2…. THREE!!

DAVE:  Hey, wait up! I thought you meant after three!

STEVIE: It’s above you, Shoot it, shoot it!

DAVE:  I can’t see it.

STEVIE: Oh, it’s got me.

DAVE:  Augh nuts. Me to!

STEVIE: Oh man. That was over quick. This is so hard.

DAVE:  We need to powerup our armour more I reckon.

STEVIE: Yeah, or eat more chips…

DAVE:  Don’t mind if I do. I gotta go home. More Minecraft tomorrow?

STEVIE: Yeah, we should mine for more diamonds, so we can power up our amour to maximum.

DAVE:  Sound’s good, can’t wait. See you at school. We can talk strategy at lunch time.

STEVIE: See ya, Dave.

DAVE:  By!

[Dave leaves, Fiona enters]

FIONA:  Hey Stevie, Can I borrow your headphones?

STEVIE: No. You’ll just break them.

FIONA:  NO I WONT!

STEVIE: Fiona, you break everything! It’s like it’s all you know how to do.

FIONA:  No I don’t

STEVIE: Well use YOUR headphones then!

FIONA:  I can’t.

STEVIE: Why not?

FIONA:  Because… I broke them.

Silent Sabbath

 Somber music plays.

Puts bible and keys on a table after coming home. Very still and sad.

Calls on phone, can hear the ringing and voicemail in main speakers

Hi you’ve called... [beep beep beep]

Hi you’ve called Jesus of Nazareth, I can’t answer your call right now, but... [beep beep beep]

Hi you’ve called Jesus of Nazareth, I can’t answer your call right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to ... [beep beep beep]

Hi you’ve called...

[Slams phone on table when last message just starts and leaves before hearing the whole message in full]

...Jesus of Nazareth, I can’t answer your call right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you once I’m raised on the third day. Chat soon. I love you.

Presentation: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - April 19, 2025 

Bethlehem TV/Radio Commercials [christmas filler scripts]

Very short commercial breaks to put in-between segments in a Christmas program.
Can be presented live or pre-recorded on video.
Could have some cheesy background music.
Ideally announced with "And now, time for a  word form one of our sponsors".

Stable Stench Freshener
Does your stable smell of donkey do-do?
Does working in your stable for more than a few minutes make you nauseous?
Do you want to have guests over, but you’re embarrassed by the reek in your stable?
Cleanse the foul odour in your animal shelter with: Stable-Stench Fresheners!
Simply hang the Stable-Stench Freshener from the roof and the room’s smell will be neutralised with the delightful aroma of dried fish.
Never again will your guest complain of an overpowering smell of poop.
Stable-Stench Fresheners - Available now from all good two-shekel shops.

Option 1: Choose Jesus (a four-act submarine adventure script for young kids)

Cast:

1. JOE – Cautious Caption (Lead Actor, able to confidently work the audience)
2. NAV – Nervous Navigator
3. MOP – Comical Cleaner
4. SPANNER – Clever Mechanic
5. FLIPPER – Ambitious Cook 
   

Mr Bean Bakes [Mr Bean MasterChef social script]

 

“Hi Guys. Welcome to a masterclass on how to make quick and easy meringues. Honestly, the method I’m going to show you today is so easy, anyone can do it. And to prove that to you, let's have our member from the audience join me, please.”

Bean wonders in rather obliviously

"Over here, sir. What's your name?"

"Bean"

[Phone rings] “Oh excuse me, Mr, Bean. [“Hi, I’m a little busy. You’re what? Ok, I’ll come out to you.”] Sorry folks I just have to duck out to the car park. Be right back!”

 

A Mother's Hospitality [Mother's Day script]

 [A Mother’s Day skit with a them of hospitality... and a twist!]

[Airplane seating, 4 chairs in a grid with an isle, all facing the side door end of the stage.]
[A hostess stands and waits at the back of the chairs.]
[ a Man walks in the side stage door with a child hurried along in front of him]

HOSTESS: Welcome aboard!

DAD: There you go, I’ll see you later. 

[Child flops in a back row chair, audience side. Dad leaves the same door and closes it]

HOSTESS: Well, hello there! I’m so excited to have you aboard. Sit back and relax, and if there’s anything I can get you, just ask. [walks to back of plane]

CHILD: Excuse me. 

HOSTESS: Yes, how can I help you?

CHILD: Can I get something to eat? 

HOSTESS: Sure, what would you like?

CHILD: What have you got?

HOSTESS: Anything you like.

CHILD: Aaaaanything???

HOSTESS: Anything you like.

CHILD: Oh cool! Well, could I have some coffee ice cream and pickles please?

HOSTESS: I’ll see what I can do.

[on radio] Can we please get some coffee ice cream and pickles down here please?

For God so Loved [Easter drama auction script]

[An auctioneer sells off the human race for the greatest cost possible. Written for an Easter service, focused on John 3:16 - in a very lateral way. Never turn your back on the audience they say... and God has never turned his back on you!] 

[auctioneer has his back turned on the audience, speaking to the universe.]

AUCTIONEER:
Creations of the universe, Welcome to Galactic Auctions!

[SLIDE - Galactic Auctions logo]

We have some amazing lots to offer you today.

· There’s some huge galaxies, which would take you several thousand light years to travel across.

· Some spectacular nebula’s you have to see to believe.

· We also have some black holes for sale,

· and there’s even some rare inter-galactic comets.

Bring Your Gifts [christmas drama about using your gifts for God]

[Bob and Darron come down opposite isles and meet in middle of stage.]

BOB: Hey Dazza!! Merry Christmas! 

DARRON: Hi Bob! Merry Christmas to you, too!  

BOB: Haven’t seen you at church in ages! 

DARRON: Yeah, how have you been? 

BOB: Great, and you? 

DARRON: Ok. What you up to for Christmas?

BOB: Well, I just picked up another car to restore over the holidays actually. 

DARRON: Oh really? What did you get this time? 

BOB: A go-ggo mobil, actually! 

DARRON: A what? 

BOB: Go-ggo mobil. 

DARRON: Ok? 

BOB: It’s in good nick, I just have to work on the engine and I’ll have it G, O, G-G, O-ing in no time! 

DARRON: You’re an amazing mechanic. Is there anything you can’t get running? 

BOB: Ha, so far so good. I guess I’m just gifted in that area - but don’t ask me to sing!
How about you? What are you up to for Christmas?

DARRON: We were planning on going down to Melbourne to see Mum. She hasn’t been very well lately. Unfortunately our car’s motor is out of action at the moment, and I just don’t have the funds to take it to a mechanic right now. So we’ll probably be staying home. 

BOB: What car have you got? 

DARRON: An old Tarago. 

BOB: Oh, I had one of them once. I tell you, I spent hours on our Tarago, I reckon I could still teardown and reassemble a Tarago engine in my sleep!... Those were the days.
[pause]
Well, I gotta run. I’m busting to get into the garage. Nice to see you though. Hope you find a way to get your car fixed for Christmas. Actually… I tell you what…. [pause]  I’ll remember you in my prayers. 

DARRON: Thanks, Bob.
[Bob and Daron leave opposite sides to they came. Child takes to stage]
 

CHILD:
Bob has a gift, but he’s not using it for Jesus.
Don’t be like Bob.
Be wise. Bring your gifts to Jesus.
I tell you: whatever you do for your brothers and sisters, you do for Jesus.

Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church -  December 23, 2023  

Jingle Beans [Mr Bean christmas script]

Assistant sets up chairs, stands, music, Trumpet on stand.

• Bean walks past, notices instruments at a glance.
• Comes back intrigued at trumpet, looks around and sits down.
• Pulls out teddy and shows.
• Puffs out cheeks, showing off to teddy, then gives teddy turn
• Plays with valves, then gives teddy turn jumping on valves
• Says “hello” in bell, Teddy falls in bell and is wedged in.
• Violinist comes out and trumpeter. Trumpeter, ignored by bean and they walk away confused.
• Jingle Bells chorus played by violin and stops waiting for trumpet “Hey”, but muted by Teddy, Bean confused but finds teddy and pulls out, and mouthpiece falls out while removing teddy
• Misses next hey, because no mouth piece, gives verbal “hey”
• Jingle bells verse played, Bean chases mouthpiece beneath chairs. Buzz “hey” under chair with mouthpiece.
• Back to chair, inconveniently in between stands and player.
• Last Hey is ‘fart sound’ - amusing Bean but not violinist.
• 12 days of Christmas (or Deck the halls) played by violinist
• Bean gets bored after a while, starts shaving face and forehead, and nose - but get;s stuck on nose hair.
• After pulled out, noes is left tickled, and hints at sneeze - that goes away temporarily.
• Sneezes, no tissue, hints at using teddy to wipe noes but aborts, sneaks sheet of music from violinist.Blows noes long an loud, and puts in pocket.
• Violin gets near end of song and runs out of music mid musical phrase, looks for it.
• Bean looks around then realizes the music in hsi pocket, hesitantly hands scrunched music from pocket, violinist takes, Bean sneaks off, violinist squeals and leaves..

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church Christmas Social - Dec 9, 2023

"God will never allow more trials than we can handle" [Putting Bad Theology on Trial Sermon Drama Series 4/4]

To play out like a courtroom scene, immediately before a sermon that exposes the misquoted verse about God will never allow more TEMPTATIONS than we can handle.
This is one of four dramas for a "Putting Bad Theology on Trial" Sermon Series:

1. You can’t be sure of your salvation
2. God promises to guide and prosper us in all our daily living
3. Reverence must mean silence
4. God will never allow more trials than we can handle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judge: OK, our first case for the morning is a complaint from a student that their teacher is giving them too much homework. Would the student please take to the stand and deliver their statement.

"Reverence must mean silence" [Putting Bad Theology on Trial Sermon Drama Series 3/4]

To play out like a courtroom scene, immediately before a sermon that affirms Reverence doesn't have be be boring.

NOTE: This will be a controversial script to run in a conservative church, (any, for example, that does not clap after a special item). This script has had much time put in trying to been worded carefully in an attempt to not make light of giving reverence to God - who deserves more than we can ever give. It attempts to show how holy God is and how in reality we can do nothing to match his holiness when giving reverence to Him. Also explores, "God is love", and how the thought that He is so easily angered by breaking different 'reverence rules' is not compatible with a God so loving. It's an extreme sermon opener where the preacher needs to balance out the argument. Use this script with caution. :)

This is one of four dramas for a "Putting Bad Theology on Trial" Sermon Series:

1. You can’t be sure of your salvation
2. God promises to guide and prosper us in all our daily living
3. Reverence must mean silence
4. God will never allow more trials than we can handle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judge: OK, our first case for the morning is a complaint from a child that their dad always plays awful music on the car radio while they drive to and from school. Would you please take to the stand and deliver your statement.

"God promises to guide and prosper us in all our daily living" [Putting Bad Theology on Trial Sermon Drama Series 2/4]

To play out like a courtroom scene, immediately before a sermon that God doesn't promises to guide and prosper us in all our daily living. A sermon unpacking misconceptions on applying OT verses directly to our lives (like Jeremiah 29:11) without understanding context first) eg God does not plan every aspect of our daily lives, just the overall goal, which ultimately is our salvation, whereas we are responsible for the regular daily decisions which, however, might get overridden by someone else’s free will if it crosses ours.

This is one of four dramas for a "Putting Bad Theology on Trial" Sermon Series:

1. You can’t be sure of your salvation
2. God promises to guide and prosper us in all our daily living
3. Reverence must mean silence
4. God will never allow more trials than we can handle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judge: OK, our first case for the morning is a child’s complaint against their parents.
It looks like they are seeking replace their mother because last week she did not make their bed for them.
Would the child please take to the stand and deliver their statement.

"I can never be sure of my Salvation" [Putting Bad Theology on Trial Sermon Drama Series 1/4]

To play out like a courtroom scene, immediately before a sermon that affirms you CAN be sure of your salvation.
This is one of four dramas for a "Putting Bad Theology on Trial" Sermon Series:

1. You can’t be sure of your salvation
2. God promises to guide and prosper us in all our daily living
3. Reverence must mean silence
4. God will never allow more trials than we can handle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judge: OK, our first case for the morning is a parents’ complaint against their child.
It looks like they are seeking to expel their child from the family home because last week they did not put their dirty socks in the washing basket before the washing machine was started.
Would the accuser please take to the stand and deliver their argument.

Dad Job Interview [Father's Day script]

A fun drama skit on the theme Father's Day and how ill equipped new fathers can be for the unique challenges ahead.

MICHAEL: Hi, I’m Michael [shakes hand]

JIM: Hi, Jim.

MICHAEL: Nice to meet you, Jim, take a seat....  So, you’ve applied for the position of…Dad?!

JIM: [nervously] Yeah

MICHAEL: Have you had any experience as a Dad before?

JIM: No, not yet. But I’m eager to learn.

MICHAEL: Oh! First time as a Dad…… [doubtful] I see…..

JIM: [pause] ….You’ve got to start somewhere, right?

MICHAEL: Yes, well… It’s generally best to have experience before becoming a Dad

JIM: I know, I just haven’t had the opportunity before. I’m really keen to learn though.

MICHAEL: So, what is it that made you want to apply to be a Dad?

JIM: My wife actually, she was keen for me to apply. You know what they say, happy wife happy life.

MICHAEL: Ha! Yes, right. So let’s see: Have you any experience cleaning up Mucus? Sputum? Urine? Feces?

JIM: What?

MICHAEL: You know, snotty gobbles, spew spew, wee wees, poo poos. Any experience with such things?

Persevering Puppets [puppet script on perseverance]

[Three puppets: Kelly, Strawberry, and Zinc.]

Act One: 

Human: I wonder what Kelly and Strawberry are up to today? Should we call them out, kids?

[Call out for them to appear]

Human: Hello Strawberry and Kelly, what are you guys up to today?

Strawberry: We’re running a race with Zinc today

Human: Oh? Where’s Zinc? Should we call out Zinc, kids?

[Call out Zinc, comes out on third call]

Human: Hi Zinc, are you running in this race with Kelly and Strawberry?

Zinc: I sure am. Were running from here to the beach!

Human: Wow, that’s sounds like a really long way from here. You’ll need a lot of perseverance to run that far. 

Zinc: Well that’s a coincidence because I happen to be a perseverance expert!

The Family 5000 - replacing the irreplaceable [Mother's Day skit]

A Mother's day script about a robotic replacement mother, which is a continuation follow-up skit to the Father 5000 Father's day skit: scottpublished.com/2014/09/the-father-5000.html

[Presenter stands behind pulpit and reads sales script. Father hidden to start with. Mother voice-over is hidden at back of room with microphone. 1 child assistant needed]

Presenter: Good morning, everyone! As most of you will be aware, tomorrow is Mother’s Day.
This is a day where we celebrate our mums, and the love and efforts they put into their family.
Unfortunately, for various reasons, there are many people who don’t have a loving mother around. And in all sincerity, our hearts go out to you, especially those who may have lost their mother recently - today we sincerely acknowledge your loss.
Because so many of us have been missing our mothers for so many years now, we got thinking: while we await our Lord's return - could we adequately replace a mother by using today’s technology?
Well, we’ve given it a go, and would like to introduce the latest and greatest in Mother-replacement technology that money can buy – THE FAMILY 5000!!!!

[Father walks on with fanfare soundtrack, which turns into shopping music]

Father: Hello.... every....body!

Presenter: That’s right folks, the award-winning Father 5000 we released last year, has been upgraded to the ‘Family 5000’ which now also comes with a mother mode. Simply replace the glasses and the Family 5000 will be switched from father mode to mother mode in a few seconds.

 [shutting down the head bows and raises again - rebooting]