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Baby Excuses [where do babies come from?]

Written for a gender reveal party.


NOAH:
Hey Hope,
You know how we’re going to have a new baby brother or sister soon?
Do you know where baby’s actually come from?

HOPE:
Haven’t they taught you that in school yet? Well…..
maybe it’s best to ask an adult.
Go an ask someone here.

NOAH: [to each person below]

Excuse me, Can you tell me where babies come from?

[Audience members, given a card with each response]

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but my phone’s ringing. “Hi Mum…”

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I have to wash my hair tonight.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but my dog ate my homework on this topic.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m wearing the wrong shoes to walk you though that answer.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I got caught in traffic on the way here and don’t have time.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m a vegetarian.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but allergic to watermelons.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m too old to answer that.
I’m not sure where they come from these days.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I don’t have Netflix so I really don’t know.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I don’t speak English, So sorry.

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m currently in labor with my 9th child – I have NO idea where babies come from!

Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m… um…. colour blind.
Go and ask your mum.

MUM:
Ask your dad

DAD:
Well, I guess I had to tell you sometime, Noah.
It might as well be now.
When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, they go and …….. buy the parts needed for a baby at Bunnings.

NOAH:
Oh, I always thought it was something to with how male and female reproductive organs worked together. Thanks Dad.

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All items on this site are written by Scott Wegener, a multi award-winning Australian creative writer, specialising in fun Christian dramas and articles. He believes in looking on the lighter side of life while still valuing the eternal seriousness of life's decisions. This site is essentially a place Scott stores his works, sometimes without much copy-editing (do forgive any spelling/grammar creativity you spot on this site that comes free of charge due to his slight dyslexia).

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