Written for a gender reveal party.
NOAH:
Hey Hope,
You know how we’re going to have a new baby brother or sister soon?
Do you know where baby’s actually come from?
HOPE:
Haven’t they taught you that in school yet? Well…..
maybe it’s best to ask an adult.
Go an ask someone here.
NOAH: [to each person below]
Excuse me, Can you tell me where babies come from?
[Audience members, given a card with each response]
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but my phone’s ringing. “Hi Mum…”
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I have to wash my hair tonight.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but my dog ate my homework on this topic.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m wearing the wrong shoes to walk you though that answer.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I got caught in traffic on the way here and don’t have time.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m a vegetarian.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but allergic to watermelons.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m too old to answer that.
I’m not sure where they come from these days.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I don’t have Netflix so I really don’t know.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I don’t speak English, So sorry.
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m currently in labor with my 9th child – I have NO idea where babies come from!
Sorry Noah, I would love to help but I’m… um…. colour blind.
Go and ask your mum.
MUM:
Ask your dad
DAD:
Well, I guess I had to tell you sometime, Noah.
It might as well be now.
When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, they go and …….. buy the parts needed for a baby at Bunnings.
NOAH:
Oh, I always thought it was something to with how male and female reproductive organs worked together. Thanks Dad.