Peaces [Skit about peace]

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - October 27, 2018

[ person comes and in casual, typical talk, says:]

R: Hi, How are you?

S: Good thanks.

R: How’s you family?

S: Good

R: How’s work?

S: Fine, thanks.

R: Great! We’ll get going in a moment.

[R walks off]

[per-recording of S plays of troubled mind, where S talks about one worry, the volume fades a little and the next worry topic starts speaking on top of that (so there's two voices speaking at once now) and then after a couple of seconds the next worry (so there's three voices speaking now - and each new worry is a bit louder so you can hear it over the first worries - and so on until we end up with a group of voices disturbing the peace in S's head. Example: how am I going to pay this months rent.... my back is killing me, I can hardly sleep... Why is my wife so distant from me these days... this global warming is a real worry.... What am I going to tell my boss about that accident. I'm going to get fired for sure... etc]

[R returns just before the recording finishes]

High Forgiveness [Skit about forgiveness]

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - November  17, 2018

[Grudge and Joy are voice-over parts with two miming actors]

Captain voice-over: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve now turned off the seat-belt light and our cabin crew will come around shortly with some drinks.

[Flight attendant comes and delivers drinks but spills them equally over the two people seated]

Flight attendant: I’m so sorry!

Grudge: Unbelievable! I can’t believe this just happened.

Joy: Unbelievable! I can’t believe this just happened. Oh well, I guess accidents happen.

Grudge: Call yourself a flight attendant? More like a flight offendant.

25 words or less

Thought I should collect some of my 'interesting' responses to 25 words or less competitions.


In 25 words or less: why have you outgrown your family car?

We've outgrown our family car because we thought having an ingrown family car would be very painful (and it'd be hard to find fitting shoes).

Why are you the ultimate Weet-Bix kid? 

 

I'm such a Weet-Bix kid, whenever I graze my elbow taking classic catches in our backyard cricket games, my elbow leaks Weet-Bix flakes (and REALLY bad grazes make me cry tears of So Good).

In fact, once a celiac footy mate of mine had an instant allergic reaction when he brushed past my arm from the Weet-Bix content in my sweat.

Then there's the time I was sent out of Sabbath School class by the teacher because I would not back down from my belief that Weet-Bix will be available on the Tree of Life in Heaven.

And don't even ask what happens to my dandruff when it rains...

When I went to see my doctor over what could be done to prevent these issues, he told me I needed to eat less Weet-Bix.

I have a new doctor now.

 

Injecting Stress [Skit about stress]

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - September 15, 2018

NOTE: All Pat’s talking is done via voice-over.

[Pat walks in, and sits very nervously, leg jittering. Sweaty]

Pat: I can’t believe I’m doing this. I HATE injections. In fact they must be so bad I’ve blocked out all memory of them cause I don’t think I ever remember having one!

Oh, what am I even doing here? I should never have come. I’ve got to get that project done for my boss by the end of day or my job’s sunk. And no job, no mortgage payments, no mortgage payments, no house.

[Pat checks arms]

Pat: Great, now I’m all sweaty, the doctor will probably slip when he’s injecting me...

Father's Apprentice [mime script]

A mime about a fathers influence on their child. 

Set to an edited down version of Disney's Sorcerer's Apprentice soundtrack

[first Strings stanzas]
Standing net to each other, Father tries a few times to show son how to shake hands, but he never does in return.

[hopping sounds that turn into marching]
Dad stomps foot in frustration and thinks.
Pause until second music stomp and then son stomps in time with music once.
Father a little surprised, tries again curiously, with two stomps in time with music
Another pause and son does two stomps with music.
Father excited, starts marching on the spot with music, watching to see if son follows, son soon copies, and they march in a circle doing a 'skip' in time with the music.

Father thinks what else to do, tries rolling arms, then son copies
Father tries knocking knees, and son copies

Leaving Slavery...Again [Skit for a large group of kids about Moses, Pharaoh, the plagues and crossing the Red Sea]

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church Pathfinder Club- August 18, 2018

Kid: Mum, how did the Israelites get out of slavery?

Narrator: Well, my equally aged child, let me get some of our fellow Pathfinders to help tell the story.
One day God had asked Moses and Aaron to ask the Egyptian Pharaoh to let the Israelites go out into the desert to worship the Lord God. But Pharaoh thought it was a stupid idea.
Pharaoh: [laughs] That’s a stupid idea!

Narrator: And he made the Israelites work harder than ever before.
Israelite 1: Aww Man!
Israelite 2: What have you done, Moses?
Israelite 3: Now we have to work harder than ever before!
Israelite 4: Not happy, Moses!

Mr Bean Sings [Skit for a talent night]

Compare: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a slight delay for our next artist. But you’re in for a real treat. Classically trained, toured throughout Europe, he has a voice you’ll never forget. I’ll just go and see if he’s arrived.


BEAN: Enter sweeping, Find Lolly, blow and eat.

See microphone “hello”, “pft” “laugh”

Get player, pull out cassette which is all come out - wind up.



Intro music. Pull out hymn book

V1: not find. Idea, Sings ALAYLOOYA,

look index, find ALya... ya.... yaaaa