Scott Wegener is a multi award-winning creative writer who believes in looking on the lighter side of life’s predicaments but still values how serious life is. This site features a wide variety of Scott's published and performed works. If you want to use any of these pieces, or commission something origional, contact Scott Wegener

Dec 22, 2018

Star Guidance ​

Brief: A Christmas skit on the sermon topic of 'The Guiding Star'

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - December 22, 2018


[Four wise men walk down isle and stop on stage.]

1: We must stop, these heavily clouded skies are making it impossible to see the guiding star.

4: Not again. This is getting ridiculous. We just spent a week at the last town waiting for the clouds to clear and now, only three score furlongs along, we have to stop again and twiddle our royal thumbs.

2: Patience, young king, the guiding star is the only way we’ll find salvation.

4: There must be another way to help speed this up. I got Carol’s program to get back for.

3: Carols program?

4: Yes, princess Carol is holding a sing-a-long in our kingdom, I promised I’d host the event, so we can’t just wait around here doing nothing.

1: The scriptures suggest it is a star we must follow, and without clear skies we can not follow this guiding star.

4: Well, this obviously isn’t a very efficient way of navigating. Let me show you a gadget I’ve been working on. Its called a GPS.

Dec 16, 2018

Peaces

Brief: A skit to introduce the topic of Peace


Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - October 27, 2018

[ person comes and in casual, typical talk, says:]

R: Hi, How are you?

S: Good thanks.

R: How’s you family?

S: Good

R: How’s work?

S: Fine, thanks.

R: Great! We’ll get going in a moment.

[R walks off]

[per-recording of S plays of troubled mind, where S talks about one worry, the volume fades a little and the next worry topic starts speaking on top of that (so there's two voices speaking at once now) and then after a couple of seconds the next worry (so there's three voices speaking now - and each new worry is a bit louder so you can hear it over the first worries - and so on until we end up with a group of voices disturbing the peace in S's head. Example: how am I going to pay this months rent.... my back is killing me, I can hardly sleep... Why is my wife so distant from me these days... this global warming is a real worry.... What am I going to tell my boss about that accident. I'm going to get fired for sure... etc]

[R returns just before the recording finishes]

Nov 17, 2018

High Forgiveness

Brief: A skit to introduce the topic of Forgiveness


Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - November  17, 2018
[Grudge and Joy are voice-over parts with two miming actors]

Captain voice-over: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve now turned off the seat-belt light and our cabin crew will come around shortly with some drinks.

[Flight attendant comes and delivers drinks but spills them equally over the two people seated]

Flight attendant: I’m so sorry!

Grudge: Unbelievable! I can’t believe this just happened.

Joy: Unbelievable! I can’t believe this just happened. Oh well, I guess accidents happen.

Grudge: Call yourself a flight attendant? More like a flight offendant.

Oct 13, 2018

25 words or less

Thought I should collect some of my 'interesting' responses to 25 words or less competitions.


In 25 words or less: why have you outgrown your family car?

We've outgrown our family car because we thought having an ingrown family car would be very painful (and it'd be hard to find fitting shoes).

Sep 15, 2018

Injecting Stress

Brief: A skit to introduce the topic of Stress

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - September 15, 2018
 
September: Stress

NOTE: All Pat’s talking is done via voice-over.
[Pat walks in, and sits very nervously, leg jittering. Sweaty]

Pat: I can’t believe I’m doing this. I HATE injections. In fact they must be so bad I’ve blocked out all memory of them cause I don’t think I ever remember having one!
Oh, what am I even doing here? I should never have come. I’ve got to get that project done for my boss by the end of day or my job’s sunk. And no job, no mortgage payments, no mortgage payments, no house.

[Pat checks arms]

Pat: Great, now I’m all sweaty, the doctor will probably slip when he’s injecting me...

Sep 1, 2018

Father's Apprentice

Brief: A drama for fathers Day sermon titles "a Fathers Influence".

Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - September 1, 2018

Set to an edited down version of Disney's Sorcerer's Apprentice soundtrack

[first Strings stanzas]
Standing net to each other, Father tries a few times to show son how to shake hands, but he never does in return.

[hopping sounds that turn into marching]
Dad stomps foot in frustration and thinks.
Pause until second music stomp and then son stomps in time with music once.
Father a little surprised, tries again curiously, with two stomps in time with music
Another pause and son does two stomps with music.
Father excited, starts marching on the spot with music, watching to see if son follows, son soon copies, and they march in a circle doing a 'skip' in time with the music.

Father thinks what else to do, tries rolling arms, then son copies
Father tries knocking knees, and son copies

Aug 9, 2018

Leaving Slavery...Again

Brief: A drama for 20 youth to perform in church.
Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church Pathfinder Club- August 18, 2018


Kid: Mum, how did the Israelites get out of slavery?

Narrator: Well, my equally aged child, let me get some of our fellow Pathfinders to help tell the story.
One day God had asked Moses and Aaron to ask the Egyptian Pharaoh to let the Israelites go out into the desert to worship the Lord God. But Pharaoh thought it was a stupid idea.
Pharaoh: [laughs] That’s a stupid idea!

Narrator: And he made the Israelites work harder than ever before.
Israelite 1:
Aww Man!
Israelite 2: What have you done, Moses?
Israelite 3: Now we have to work harder than ever before!
Israelite 4: Not happy, Moses!

Jun 23, 2018

Think Big

Brief: Men' s ministry service on the topic of Thinking Big and not being afraid to mix with those in higher society.
Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - June 23, 2018

[muppet music plays, two men walk in with a large sheet hanging between them as a screen, puppeteers sneak in behind screen as they enter the room. Jack appears in middle of screen, police and prime minister on one of the sides.]


J: Hey, Tod, look!

T: [appears] Looking... what am I looking at?

J: It’s the prime minister of Australia!

T: Really? Looks like Pr Pablo to me?

J: NO! Over there!

T: Oh yeah! Wow... Let’s get out of here!

J: What??

T: Before he puts us in Jail!

May 12, 2018

Life of Clair

Brief: Mother's Day service on a woman's courage a mother's love.
Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - May 12, 2018

Set to music Clair de lune
(Timing cues)

(00) mother and father stand face to face, staring at ground motionless.

(After opening stanza) Slowly look up and at each other.

Mother slowly raises her hand and sorrowfully strokes fathers check.

0:35 Father picks up suitcase and leaves, leaving mother staring at door for a few moments after he’s gone.

1.03 She picks up baby with joy in her heart at first, turns to trying to quiet/settle Baby asleep in her arms.

1:40 Takes baby out of room.

1:50 Mother returns, hair is in pony tail and wearing apron. Takes ‘month’ off calendar or winds wall click forward, makes sandwich, primary daughter who followed her in waits - snatches once sandwich is given and leaves without acknowledgement to mother.

Mar 31, 2018

Doubts

Brief: Easter service skit about Thomas' Doubts
Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - March 31, 2018

[Thomas begins to walk down isle towards the stage, carrying fishing nets and rope]
Crowd 1: Hey Thomas! Where’s that messiah of yours? Oh, that’s right. He got stuck up a tree! Shame that. Hahahha [mutters and sits down] Messiah, Yeah right.
[Thomas hurries to other side of stage and begins to sort out his nets, then]
Crowd 2: Oi! Weren’t you one of those trouble maker followers of Jesus of Nazareth? The priests would like a word with you ! They want to know where you’ve hidden his body. Oi, where you going? [mutters and sits] Trouble maker.
[Thomas grabs the nets and rushes off stage - three disciples enter the balcony area and Thomas arrives just as they start to bar the door shut - there’s a table with food set up - Thomas has fishing nets in his arms ] 

Feb 3, 2018

The Why Thousand Years

Brief: Article about the Seventh-day Adventist fundamental belief 28 about the Millennium
Published: RECORD - February 3, 2018
 
Stopovers when travelling by air are generally good to avoid. That way you’re lessening the risk of disconnected flights, not to mention the opportunity for luggage to go missing.
However, there’s one stopover that will be a rewarding experience, even though it involves a 1000-year wait to go home—without your baggage too.
I’m talking about a stopover to end all stopovers—the millennium in heaven spoken about in the Bible.
It’s a common belief that people will be going to heaven for eternity. However, a little Bible study reveals we’re only there for a mere 1000-year stopover—and I say “only” because that’s not much longer than our great-great-(etc)-grandfather, Methuselah, lived for. After that we arrive back home on earth again. This means the rousing last verse of Amazing Grace really needs to be sung “When we’ve been there 1000 years . . .” to be biblically correct.
But don’t get upset at being returned to earth. I agree the proposition of leaving heaven to end up back on earth initially sounds like you’ve being downgraded from first-class luxury to miserable-class torture. But fear not, the earth is being reinstalled to its original sin-free goodness soon after our return.

Jan 14, 2018

Who’s Isaac?

A lady named Karen was known by her middle name, Jeanelle, and had the surname Isaacs She married a man named Isaac Harvey. Here’s a ‘Who’s on first’ attempt at clarifying the names at their reception, as MC:


S: Now you’re in the bridal party, Phil?

P: Yes

S: So you should be able to help help me with some names, I’m a little confused.

P: Sure what do you want to know?

S Well I need to be sure I have the bridal party correct, what is the Groom's name?

P: Isaac

S: And surname?

P: Harvey

S: Ok, and the bride's name?

P: Jeanelle

S: Good, and maiden name?

P: Isaacs

S: No, Jeanelle’s maiden name.

P: Isaacs

S: No JEN-ELLEs. What is Jeanelle’s Maiden name?

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